Reprogramme Your Mind

"Let God transform the way you think" - Romans 12:2 NLT

Behind everything you do, there's a thought! So if you're serious about changing your life, you must change how you think. That's not easy, and it doesn't happen instantly. Picture yourself in a boat with the automatic pilot set to go in a certain direction, then you suddenly decide to go somewhere else.
 
First option: willpower. Grab the wheel and force it to go where you want; by sheer willpower, overcome the autopilot. But you'll feel constant resistance. Your arms will get tired, and when you let go of the wheel, guess what? The boat will go the way it's programmed to go. Get the idea? That's what happens when you try to change your life through willpower: 'I'll force myself to quit drinking, cheating, or overeating', and so on. Your willpower can only produce short-term change, but it creates constant stress because you haven't dealt with the root cause and reprogrammed your mind. The change doesn't feel natural so eventually you give up, revert to your old patterns and say, 'I guess this is just the way I am. I'll never change.'
 
Second option: God's power. There is a better way! The Bible says, '... Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.' Change always begins in your mind! The way you think determines the way you feel, and the way you feel determines the way you act. You say, 'How can I change the way I think?' By programming your mind each day with God's Word. 'How can a... man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word' (Psalm 119:9 NKJV).

That is exactly why i will always believe that i did not recover from that drug, and that hideous lifestyle - God saved me. It is also the reason that i find it easy to say no to other destructive behaviour that i used to involve myself in, and also why i find it so easy to walk away from people that i know are not healthy for me to have in my life now. It is not willpower, or because i have become hard, or cold, or because i don't care...it is because i have changed the way i think.

I am up to date number 4 with Mr Hot. That is, if you consider date number 3, when he just popped over here and caught me out in my jammies - a "date..." He seems to think that counts. I don't. Really. I am actually struggling with last night counting as well. He was supposed to come over here last night, and we were going to go out for dinner or something, but he is away down South with work until Sunday and apparently, had a lot to do at home, so wanted me to head out his way. He asked me to go out there, and said we would go out for dinner. While i was on my way over there, this changed to ordering pizza and just staying in.

All good.

We just watched TV and ate pizza. His flatmate was out at Rugby training or something, and at 8:30 - about the time that the flatmate was going to arrive home - i got smuggled into his bedroom to watch TV. WEIRD! Lying on a bed, watching TV together - well i was watching TV - he wasn't! ...is not really what i had in mind for date number 4. It was pretty obvious, what he had in mind. He even had the gall to suggest we forget the 5 date rule.

That was about the time that i went home. That whole thing was planned. He wanted me to go to his place instead of coming to mine, because he knew we would be alone there. (the kids would have been here and in the way if we had been at my place) He never really had any intention of taking me out anywhere. He just wanted a shag.

What is wrong with men these days? Why is it so important to have sex with people that you hardly even know? What is wrong with getting to know someone well before doing that?

Earlier, he and i had a conversation regarding each other's pros and cons...ie things we liked about each other and things that we thought were drawbacks. The following is a list of the things about me, that he stated were "drawbacks.."

- distance, although at night its only 30 mins door to door, its still a hike from one side of Auckland to the other, and while things are new and exciting its easy, but I could see it getting hard one day, especially with the cost of petrol etc (not that that's a factor for me at the moment) On the plus side of that, It means we wouldn't see each other too much and would make the most of the time we did see each other

- Compatibility..... this is going to sound really crazy since you don't hold much stock in star signs, but I have a friend who swears by them and Gemini vs Virgo would be up against the wall, but not impossible????

- lack of common interests, apart from the beach.... I like the snow in winter, but don't see you as a ski bunny for some reason?

My drawbacks reminded me of a fridge magnet that i have. I went through a fridge magnet collecting stage when i was on P! Not only did i have a hardware store fetish and ended up with a garage full of pink tools...i also ended up with a fridge covered in magnets from that cool Texan Art School shop. haha
 
I have gone to the trouble of scanning this fridge magnet - because i love it so much.
 

My favourite fridge magnet!

If you look REALLY closely - you can see the REAL reason for getting our asses dumped. DIDN'T LOVE YOU.

I have been asking myself, why i would want to have sex, with someone who thinks that the cost of fuel, the month that i was born, or the fact that i have only been snow skiing once, and prefer summer to winter, are reasons that any relationship that we may or may not embark on, would be too much effort, or would not work?

The only answer that i can come up with is - i wouldn't.

Pardon me, if i only want to have a sexual relationship with someone who cares about me enough, that those things would not matter, even after things are no longer "New and exciting" - and on that note - i want something that will get better with time, not worse, because it is no longer new and exciting.

I don't know about any of you, but if i really cared about someone, and liked them, i don't think a half hour drive, and 10 bucks worth of fuel would be an issue. I want someone in my life that would go to the end of the earth for me, jump through hoops for me - but also knows that i would never make him do that! haha

Not someone who can foresee a half hour drive to see me, being too hard. Bugger that for a joke.

I am never going to get laid again....and i Don't. Really. Care.

Cocker Spaniels

Seriously. Honestly. NEVER BUY ONE. For REALS!

Nixon has left the building - AGAIN!

As much as i love that dog - he is doing my head in. I can't do enough for him. He goes everywhere with me. He is never alone. He gets more attention than any dog in the history of attention seeking dogs. He gets ran / walked at least 6 k a day....

AND HE STILL JUMPS THE FENCE AND RUNS AWAY.

I ALMOST hope some kind person finds him and keeps him. Almost - not quite - but almost.

He is doing my head in. :(

Cocker Spaniels are CRAZY dogs!

A Bloke Called Johnno

This is a crack up.



I laughed when they were talking about the BMW purchases - and Daewoos. Danny drove a Daewoo. We used to laugh a their advertising slogan..."There is nothing you can't do in a Daewoo" ...except go over 60 k!

;)

The things we remember...

Seriously - who puts this stuff on youtube? Who would be bothered? And why do i still think about The Jolly Green Giant - a cartoon character that advertised vegetables on TV in America, while i was growing up?



For your useless bit of Monday information - the Jolly Green Giant was an advertising campaign by a company called General Mills, to market vegetables "not just because they are healthy but because consumers like them."

He first appeared in advertisements in 1928! and did not retire until 1994. He was reincarnated by Saatchi and Saatchi New York in 2005. He is recognized by the trade publication Advertising Age as the third most recognizable American advertising icon of the 20th century, behind Tony the Tiger and the Marlboro Man.

Perhaps i still remember him because he is bloody scary! ;)...or he could just be proof of the power of media, and how it can drum things into our heads - for life. Or it could be that i am currently dating someone that resembles him! haha

This travel blog photo's source is TravelPod page: Jolly Green Giant

My Living Will

I love it. haha...thanks to the lovely person that shared that with me! It gave me a good laugh before passing out last night - not from wine though. ;)

I had an absolutely superb sleep overnight. 

Back later.

The Sheepskin Rug

Date number three, and he caught me out with my sheepskin rug on my head.

I think Mr. Hot is trying to speed things along to date number 5. He has his finger on the fast forward button. He will dispute this...but i know all. I have not told him that i know everything yet - he will find out when he reads this. Ha.

We had a lovely evening together last night. He came over here, and we went up to Mino's Pizza in Howick. If you are ever in Howick and have a craving for an awesome pizza - you can't go wrong with Minos'. It is an awesome little BYO in Howick, and they also do take away. It has been there at LEAST 20 years. The same man has owned it that whole time, and i was a bit disturbed when i saw him last night. He is like one of those actors from those American soap operas that never age...he looks the same as he did back in the 80s...I have just managed to catch up to him. Not. Even. Funny....anyway we had an awesome evening last night. We watched a movie on TV after our dinner. We laughed a lot. Then he went home.

He came over again tonight. He actually caught me out, very tired, with a messy house that smelled of wet dog, because Nixon had just had a bath, in my jammies, and with my hair all frizzy. I had missed an email and a phone call telling me that he was popping over...until he was just around the corner.

He caught me at my worst, most tired, and most grumpy. When i expressed concern that the sheepskin rug on top of my head might put him off me, for good...his response went something like "You don't think there are enough other things about you that could put me off?!?!?!"

Hahaha - the guy has a sense of humour! I will give him that.

Still - i think he popped over tonight, hoping that it would count for date number 3....hmmmmm. Tricky tricky. Still...he has no alcohol addiction, no drug addiction, no gambling problem, is employed, is not homeless, has no radio show that needs a ratings boost, doesn't want me to go back to being a hooker,  has not yet asked me to pay for his beer, and Nixon has never barked at him - not even the first time he turned up here. Nixon barks at EVERYONE who comes near our gate.

Weird. I am not even getting that warning sign / dodgy feeling about him that i get about EVERYONE. What's he doing hanging out with me?!?!

He tells me i am beautiful, and gorgeous...all the time.

All of the above really should have made the 5 date rule null and void anyway!

Right...on that note - i am off to bed.

Taking the Risk | Permission to Be Real

People who keep it real present themselves as they truly are,

the good parts and the parts most of us would rather hide.

Most of us are familiar with the idea of keeping it real and have an intuitive sense about what that means. People who keep it real don’t hide behind a mask to keep themselves safe from their fear of how they might be perceived. They don’t present a false self in order to appear more perfect, more powerful, or more independent. People who keep it real present themselves as they truly are, the good parts and the parts most of us would rather hide, sharing their full selves with the people who are lucky enough to know them.

Being real in this way is not an easy thing to do as we live in a culture that often shows us images of physical and material perfection. As a result, we all want to look younger, thinner, wealthier, and more successful. We are rewarded externally when we succeed at this masquerade, but people who are real remind us that, internally, we suffer. Whenever we feel that who we are is not enough and that we need to be bigger, better, or more exciting, we send a message to ourselves that we are not enough. Meanwhile, people who are not trying to be something more than they are walk into a room and bring a feeling of ease, humor, and warmth with them. They acknowledge their wrinkles and laugh at their personal eccentricities without putting themselves down.

People like this inspire us to let go of our own defenses and relax for a moment in the truth of who we really are. In their presence, we feel safe enough to take off our masks and experience the freedom of not hiding behind a barrier. Those of us who were lucky enough to have a parent who was able to keep it real may find it easier to be that way ourselves. The rest of us may have to work a little harder to let go of our pretenses and share the beauty and humor of our real selves. Our reward for taking such a risk is that as we do, we will attract and inspire others, giving them the permission to be real too. ~ The Daily OM

I ADORE this. How true is all that?

I have not felt like writing much these past few days. In fact, i still don't. I have had a lot going on, and at the same time - have had nothing going on! If that makes any sense.

On Wednesday night, i went out for a drink, with someone that i had only corresponded with online. He had read my blog, and i think he wanted to meet me in person and see if i am a nutter! haha We had a really nice time. He is a nice guy, and he doesn't seem at all concerned about the fact that he could potentially end up a dating disaster. haha. He is not very modest though. He requested that i refer to him as "Mr Hot". I had considered calling him Mr Big - because he is like a hundred feet tall - but Mr. Hot it shall be.

I have to say though, that it is a lot harder to write about Mr Hot - knowing that he will read what i write. Where is the fun in dating - if there are no games, and the other person knows exactly what i am thinking?

I. Hate. Dating. Just resigning myself to being single forever, and starting my collection of 30 cats, seems so much easier right about now. Despite this, i am going out with him again tonight. Am i gluten for punishment? Or am i gluten for punishment?

I have been a bit evil as well this week - well maybe not evil, but def not very "real". Mr Nice / Mr Drunk Asshole went unconditional on his house on Wednesday. On Tuesday night, i did what i thought was a nice thing, and text him to wish him luck for the following day. That is an exciting time...isn't it? Buying a house and having it all unconditional. I doubt i will ever be able to purchase another home in Auckland again, so i was happy for him.

He promptly replied, and said thanks. The next day when everything was signed, sealed, and delivered, he text me to tell me. I was genuinely excited, pleased, and happy for him. I suggested we go out for dinner to celebrate. I suggested this, as a friend.

But then he apologised to me for being excited about his house, and said something to the effect that he knew "it was not what i needed to hear" ...i didn't get this, and asked him what he was on about. He replied and told me that he knew that i wanted to move from where i am living, that i hate where i live, and that i probably did not need to hear how happy he was.

I struggled with that. I think that was just another example of how different we were / are. Often we project our own thoughts and emotions on to other people. We think that because we think a certain way, or behave in a certain way, everyone else will as well. This is the classic reason why, people who cheat on their partners, are insecure and always accusing others of being unfaithful. It is the reason that liars are suspicious of everything everyone else says, and think everyone is lying. Thieves will be overly security conscious and think everyone is going to steal off them.

I don't know what i ever did to give him any indication that i was the type of person who would not just be happy about the good fortune of a friend mine, and i pointed this out to him. To me, the whole conversation was more indicative of his thought processes, than mine.

Jealousy, and envy are evil.

Anyway, that is not why i have not been "real"...i have not been real because after that conversation, he said he did not know where things stood with us, he wanted something special with me blah blah blah...and that was about when i turned my phone off - and have not turned it back on!

UGH.

I wanted a new phone anyway - might as well get a new number too. Or...i could just turn my phone back on and reply to him, honestly. I'm not sure which i would rather do right now.

I.Hate.Dating. I should really - just be real. Huh?

Sit Down and Write

Sit Down and Write

When is the last time you just sat down and started writing about something heavy? You should try it sometime. It's one of the most powerful exercises you have the ability to put your mind through. Nothing will have the power to heal you from whatever hurt or darkness you carry like writing will.

There is a reason why doctors and therapists recommend people keep journals when they're having a hard time or struggling. Writing about stressful, emotional, or traumatic events has been proven to improve both physical and mental health. There's actually a lot of science behind it. But to me, the science is all bla bla bla bla bla.

It's also true.

We're all jacked up in one way or another. Some of us minorly, some of us majorly. We all have secrets. We all have dark smudges tainting our own personal histories. We all have shame and embarrassment left over from things we've done, and from things that we've merely thought. We all, from time to time, feel like there is something seriously wrong with us, that we're alone, or that we're without value.

In a couple weeks I'll be posting about a powerful writing process that my therapist taught me. As I've put it into practice, it has helped me solve some of the biggest mysteries of my mental life. I hope some of you will use it when I post it, and I also hope that between now and then you sit down a few times and just start writing. Practicing now will make the process a lot more poignant when I share it.

It's okay if nobody ever sees what you write. It's okay if you throw it away, toss it out, burn it, or destroy it. Just pick something, whatever hurts or bugs you the most in life, and start typing. Let anything that comes to your mind work its way out through your hands. Don't let any thought that seems too disturbed or too dark stop you from writing about it. No matter how deep, how profound, how twisted, or how stupid it may seem, just start writing everything that comes to your mind.

It seems that most people are scared to really write. People don't want to face the things they don't like, or even hate, about themselves.

But you have to take my word for it. I've had one of the most tainted and troublesome pasts you can imagine. I've been slammed against the wall by more people than I can count. I have failed again and again and again when I was doing everything I could to succeed. I have buried things so deeply inside of me that they nearly ceased to exist.

But, you see, it's impossible for any memory to actually cease to exist. It's always there. It's always working in the background. It's always part of your subconscious thought process. Until, that is, you find a way to move beyond it.

Writing, to me, is one of the only true forms of magic that exists on the earth. I've seen it take the weight that has burdened me for decades and in minutes all but extinguish its heavy load. It's not about how clever you are with words. It's not about how well you can punctuate or form sentence structure. It's not about your education level. It's not about how it sounds. At all. It's about getting it out. It's about opening the deadbolts of your past so that the monsters locked inside can be set free.

I am asked constantly... how do I write what I write? How do I share what I share?

The answer for me is simple. I'm addicted to what happens every time I do. I'm in love with the freedom. I'm enamored by the feelings that can only come from taking control of the very things that have always controlled me. It's not a task for me. It's a necessity. And it's a pleasure. Plain and simple.

So, what do you say? Will you practice writing whatever comes to your mind a few times before I post my writing process with you in a couple weeks? Just a few times, 15-20 minutes each time you sit down.

And if you really want to have some fun, sit at your computer, close your eyes, and don't open them until you've written for at least half an hour. Put a blindfold on. Do whatever you gotta do to not look at what you're writing. You'll be amazed at what half an hour of your life will do to the entire rest of your life.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. I know many of you already practice doing this. Many of you already have a serious love for writing. Why? What does it do for you? Have any of you had things come out in writing that would have been impossible to come up with on your own? Are any of you scared of writing? If so, what scares you about it?

 
I love that.
 
I started my blog, back when i was such a mess, and so full of shame. I did this because writing was my way to rid myself of that shame. I promised myself when i started writing, that i would only ever write the truth. I hated writing about things that i was so ashamed of, therefore writing helped me change my life. It encouraged me to do my best to always live a life that i am proud of - because writing about things that i was so ashamed of really sucked mouldy arse.
 
Writing is wonderful therapy. If everyone took up writing, and running - there would be no need for anti depressants - or rehab. The pharmaceutical companies, worldwide, would have a meltdown.
 
Speaking of which. I skipped my run last night. I went out instead. I will  have to do it twice today.
 
Like that will happen!
 

Your Weakness

"He knows how weak we are" - Psalm 103:14 NLT

Any weakness you refuse to deal with will draw you towards the wrong things and set you up for defeat. To live victoriously you must recognise that, first, your weakness can emerge at any time. What you allow to take root, will grow within you. What you fail to master now, will master you later.

The Psalmist prayed, 'Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone' (Psalm 71:9 NIV). Second, God's Spirit will repeatedly warn you. Jesus told Peter: '... "Satan hath desired to have you... But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren"' (Luke 22:31-32 KJV).

Imagine the Lord praying for you. He does! '... If anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous' (1 John 2:1 NAS). He intercedes for you, clothes you in His righteousness, and draws you back to Himself.

Third, God will continue to use you even while your weakness is growing within you. He provides opportunity after opportunity to reach for His help. Jesus warned Jerusalem, '... "How often I have longed to gather your children together... but you were not willing... your house is left to you desolate"' (Matthew 23:37-38 NIV). When you neglect God's grace, what's left? Your consequences! You ask, 'What can I do?' Turn to God. He's neither shocked by your weakness nor unwilling to help you. Acknowledge your weakness. Become an enemy to it. Let God's Spirit empower you. Not only can He deliver you, He can turn your greatest weakness into your greatest weapon.

OK OK OK  - i will become an enemy to bad boys with tattoos. I. Get. It. ;)

I didn't have a very good sleep overnight. Ever since i found that huge growing patch of mouldy rotten carpet under my bed, i have pictured myself breathing in big, huge, fat spores of mould while i sleep. This is hindering my sleep! We all know how much i love my sleep these days, so this is a very, very bad thing.

Very bad. lol

Back later.

Facebook and the Law of Attraction -Brian Piergrossi

Facebook can be a great teacher in showing us where we are placing our attention. This audio/vid is about how we can learn about ourselves and the law of attraction through Facebook. Who and what is showing up in your newsfeed? :) Love & Light! -Brian Piergrossi

The Last Lecture

If you haven't yet seen "The Last Lecture", this is a must watch. Get the popcorn ready, it's over an hour long, and worth every second of your time.

Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch (Oct. 23, 1960 - July 25, 2008) gave his last lecture at the university Sept. 18, 2007, before a packed McConomy Auditorium. In his moving presentation, "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams," Pausch talked about his lessons learned and gave advice to students on how to achieve their own career and personal goals.

PS - i am still alive this morning but i fell asleep within the first couple of minutes of my movie last night. ha
ha

Knowing Our Heart’s Desire | Feeling Jealous

When we examine jealousy of another,

we can use this feeling to help us determine what we really want for ourselves.

Jealousy is one of the toughest feelings we come up against in our lives. There is not much worse than this aching sense that somehow life has been unfair to us, while amply rewarding someone else. It’s even worse if that someone else is present in our daily lives, making it difficult for us to get the space we need to feel and heal our pain. We may be jealous of a sibling, a dear friend, or even famous personalities. We may even face the challenge of feeling jealous of our spouse, our child, or one of our parents. Whatever the case, we can normalize our experience by understanding that, as painful as it is, jealousy is a common human feeling.

Nevertheless, it is important that we not revel in our jealousy for too long, feeding it with inner talk or gossip with others. If we do, we run the risk of losing ourselves to its negative power. Jealousy has something good to offer us, though, and that is information about our own heart’s desire. When we are jealous of certain people, we want what they have, and if we are to be conscious, we must acknowledge that. In this way, we discover what we want for ourselves, which is the first step to getting it. It may be a certain kind of relationship or a career. Whatever it is, it is possible that we could create it for ourselves, in our own lives, if we are able to honor our own desires.

Of course, there are times when we cannot heal our jealousy in this way, and then the lesson may be about acceptance and the understanding that our path is different from the paths of those around us. It may be hard to see now, but perhaps it will eventually be clear why our life has taken its particular path. In the end, the best cure for jealousy is the recognition that the life we have is full of its own meaning and beauty, utterly unique to us—a gift that could never be found in the life of another. ~ The Daily OM

I don't do jealousy anymore. I used to. I used to be jealous and envious of everyone. Now i am just happy with my lot in life. I am grateful for everything that i have. I am grateful to just be here. Sometimes i say i am jealous. Today, when the supermodel was telling me how much her boyfriend had missed her while she was away - i told her that i was jealous of that.

At the time, when i said that, i was thinking how nice it would be to have someone to go to hospital with me. I was thinking how nice it would be to have a nice boyfriend, like she has - but i am not REALLY jealous. To me, i see jealousy as a selfish thing. I see it as not wanting other people to have things that you want, but don't have. While i think it would be nice to have a happy and healthy relationship with a happy and healthy person, nothing detracts from the happiness that i feel for my friends who do have that.

I survived the hospital visit today. I have to go back to the Manukau Superclinic on the 31st of this month as well - because i have now been transferred from Auckland Health, to Manukau. Yay. Two visits in less than ten days.

I did my run tonight. It was a beautiful evening out there. The leaves are starting to fall. I love Autumn, and all the colours. The cooler weather is so much nicer for exercising, and Nixon doesn't get so tired.

I watched a bit of Oprah today. She had Robert Redford and Barbara Streisand on the show, and they were talking about a movie called "The Way We Were" ...it looked like the soppiest thing ever, that i probably should NEVER watch...but me being the gluten for punishment that i am, went and downloaded it.

If i don't post anything tomorrow that means i have killed myself. JOKES!!!

Have You Found Your Reason For Living?

"But if it dies... " - John 12:24 NKJV

One day a depressed woman jumped off a bridge into a river. Without thinking, a man standing nearby jumped in to save her. But 'our hero' suddenly remembered that he couldn't swim, so he started thrashing around and screaming for help! Hearing his cries, the depressed woman swam to his rescue, hauled him out, administered mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and saved his life.

What happened? She found a need greater than her own, and in so doing she found a reason to live.

Jesus said, '... Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies [to self-interest], it produces much grain.' Christ had just finished saying, '... "Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing"' (Luke 12:22-23 NKJV).

Career success and material things cannot be your reason for living! You need a larger purpose, and God will give you one if you ask Him. Some of us are born knowing what God has called us to do in life; others discover it along the way. Some of us actually find it in our closing years. Indeed, some of us are awakened to it by tragedy and loss. What matters is that we find God's purpose and pour ourselves into it. Helen Keller wrote, 'When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which God has opened for us.'

So, have you found your reason for living?

Yep - I think i have. I am keeping it a secret though - for now... I will say that i think i have decided what i am going to do with the rest of my life. I think it is safe to say though,  that it took tragedy and loss for me to realise what i wanted to do with my life.

I struggled a bit yesterday. It was my Dad's birthday...(in America) it was actually the 20th, our time. I went to send him an email and post a Happy Birthday message on his Facebook wall, and found that he had deleted me! I don't know when he did this, or why, so i emailed my sister and asked, if she had any idea.

She came back with some story about me having my mother on my Facebook, and Nicole not saying thank you for a gift card that my Dad and Stepmother had sent her for her birthday. My sister said "They had sent Nicole a happy birthday, and then noticed it was deleted just as they were. They sent her a visa gift card, with no thanks, in fact, they don't even know if she received it."

I checked with Nicole, when she got home from school, because i was certain that she HAD emailed them and thanked them. Sure enough ...in her outbox, was an email that she had sent on the 5th of Feb, saying thank you to them and telling them that she misses and loves them. So IN FACT - my sister was wrong, and if that is what Dad had told her - then he had lied.

The kids checked their Facebook accounts, and they too had been deleted by Dad and my Stepmother.

My sister then complained to me about how she is  "sorry to hear you and mom had a falling out. It kind of hurts my feelings that when you two were getting along I didn't hear from either of you even though you both were always on FB, but when you have a falling out you're both suddenly emailing me."

WHAT THE HECK? This is the first correspondence that i have had with my sister since the falling out with my mother. I had purposely NOT emailed her and told her anything that was going on, or tried to talk to her about it, because i did not want her to feel like she was being put in the middle of a hideous argument over my daughter being 7 minutes late back to my mum's from ice skating. I figured it had already caused enough drama with people that i love, and i did not want to involve her. It would have been nice, since no doubt Mum would have emailed her and bleated on about me, if she had emailed to see if i was ok, considering she knows how hurt i have been in the past over my mother's actions...but nope. All good.

My Dad, my Stepmother, and my sister, had all encouraged me to try again with my Mum. They had all told me that i needed to forgive her, that i only get one mother, and that holding a grudge against all the awful things she had done my whole life, was unhealthy.

So i tried. For that, they all get pissy at me, hurt feelings, and delete me, and their grandchildren from their Facebook accounts.

I can't win with my family.

This upset me yesterday. A good sleep though, always puts things into perspective. I just can't care any more about my crazy family. What kind of parent, or grandparent just deletes their children, and grandchildren from their Facebook, without even saying anything, or attempting to sort out the problem that has annoyed them so much as to no longer want contact with those family members?

A crazy one.

I have a day at home today - because i have to go to the hospital this afternoon for a follow up check up in relation to the treatment that i had last year. I hate hospitals. I especially hate going to hospitals - alone.

On a brighter note - i did receive an email this morning, from a complete stranger, telling me that i must be frustrated now that i am no longer seeing anyone, and offering me two orgasms by lunchtime.

How kind, and generous of this man. If only i did not have an appointment to have a big needle stuck in my cervix this afternoon - i just might have taken him up on that lovely offer.

If only every day, could start in such an entertaining way. I could die happy. Right. Now. : /

HOTEL HELL - WELLINGTONS WORST KEPT HOTEL - DO NOT STAY HERE

roarprawn: HOTEL HELL - WELLINGTONS WORST KEPT HOTEL - DO NOT STAY HERE

I had to laugh when i read this. Busted Blonde's review of The Silver Oaks - Quality Inn Hotel that is across from the Rose Gardens in Wellington , is actually complimentary compared to what the real experience of staying in this hotel is like. lol

I knew straight away when i was reading this, which hotel she was talking about. In September 2007, Billy had an Xbox competition that he wanted to go to down in Wellington. Danny and i thought it would be a nice chance to have a weekend away, so we decided to drive him down there.

We had the funniest weekend together. That weekend is actually the last good memory that i have of our time together. Just driving in to Wellington was a mission. All of the one way streets caused us to just keep ending up back on the motorway, out of the city...within about 5 minutes of arriving - like 3 times. I swear we would just get off the motorway, end up on a one way street, and before we knew it we were back on the motorway heading North again, and there were no off ramps to turn around for AGESSSS. Our stomachs were sore from laughing, by the time we managed to enter Wellington and NOT get back on the motorway.

It was a bit of an impromptu trip. I think we had only decided to go the day before, so we had not organised accommodation. We just figured we would find something once we were down there. We drove around in circles for ages before we ended up on some road, that looked like it might have a motel or a hotel on it. Eventually we saw a "Quality Inn" sign, and figured that would be safe. I mean isn't "Quality Inn" a franchise? One would think that all of their hotels would have to live up to a certain standard? That is what i thought - but either that is not the case, or that standard is very low.

We could not stop laughing at how bad this hotel was - the whole time we were there. We just kept telling ourselves that it was only to sleep in, and that we would be spending our days out sightseeing so it really should not matter how bad the place that we were staying was.

The decor was like something out of a 1960's horror movie - like "The Shining" or "Psycho" or something. Remember that old floral, threadbare carpet that your grandmother had in her home? Yeah that stuff...the furniture was all falling apart and older than me. There were cigarette burns on the toilet seat. The bathroom was so small you could barely stand in there, and the shower was one of those old stainless steel boxes with a mouldy curtain, and shocking water pressure.

Honestly - i could go on, and on about how bad this hotel was. I can't believe BB stayed there! hahaha!

Those were good times though. Happy times. Danny and i could always make the most of bad situations, when we were happy together. I don't think i have laughed as hard as i did that weekend...since.

I will never forget that hotel though, or how bad it was. BB is right - DO NOT STAY THERE  - unless you want to have a good laugh at staying at New Zealand's WORST hotel. lol

The Silver Oaks Hotel on Thorndon

No excuses

Not even - i have been breathing in mould in my sleep, and i have to go to hospital tomorrow! ;)



Every excuse that i have ever used is in there...

Living unselfishly

'...Lend, hoping for nothing in return.'Luke 6:35 NKJV

If you're serious about becoming like Jesus, pay careful attention to His words: ' '...just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise... love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great...' (Luke 6:31-35 NKJV). Love, expecting nothing in return. Give, though they'll never say thanks. Forgive, even though they won't forgive you. Come early, stay late, invest everything you've got even though nobody notices.

Paul calls this '...the high calling...' (Philippians 3:14 KJV). And there's a reason: none of us would set such a standard for ourselves! If you think some people are just naturally more loving than others, think again. Love is a choice: one that costs! You can't love others while you're staring into a mirror or give to others while you're clinging to what you've got. Love will cost you your time, your money and your preoccupation with self. If you think you'll just go to church some Sunday morning, read a book or attend a 7-step seminar and turn into the kind of person we're talking about - good luck! There are no pre-packaged saints; no 'add-and-stir' formula that makes God's love gush forth.

To be loving you've got to take up your cross, deny yourself and make others your priority. Remember the woman caught in adultery? Jesus stooped down to reach her, stood by her under attack, then sent her home redeemed and refocused. Do you want to be like Him? Go and find people who are hurting, hopeless, and even wrong. When you do, minister to them until they're redeemed, restored and right. That's living unselfishly!

I love that. I love it a lot.

It is a lot cooler today. Rainy and cooler. I am actually enjoying it, although i am  not sure how motivated i am to go on my run...and get wet.

I have been feeling like a big, fat, blaaahhhhhh...all day today.

I pulled a storage container out from under my bed this morning, to look for a photo that i have been trying to find, and noticed that the carpet under my bed is actually GROWING mould. My bedroom is next to the bathroom. The floor in the bathroom is lino, and you can feel that the wood is squishy underneath the lino. The shower above the bathtub must leak or something. I don't know. I am constantly scrubbing the ceiling and walls in the bathroom, trying to keep the mould at bay, and now the carpet in my bedroom is rotten.

I have notified the landlord several times regarding the squishy floor, and the mould problem in this place, and i never hear anything back. When he did his last inspection, i showed him the squishy floor. He knows the floor is rotting, and has done nothing about it.

I pay $410 a week for this grotty mould ridden place. It is rather depressing. When i moved here, i could not really be picky, about where i moved to, because i had an ankle bracelet on...lol. I guess not many landlords want to rent a place to someone who is on home detention for drug offences. I was grateful to just find somewhere close to the girl's school to move to.

One damp and cold winter here though, was enough. The oven did not work when we moved in. Fuses blow non stop. The front sliding door has come off the rail and smashed everywhere....TWICE. We spent four days last July with no front door. The second time it took the landlord 3 days to get back to me, regarding getting it fixed, then another day for him to even email the glass man to come out here. I have fixed the oven and the fuses myself.

Honestly - everything breaks in this place. My 12 month lease is up on April 15th, and i want to find somewhere that is not mouldy and damp to move to. I have today, again, emailed the landlord regarding the mould problem. That ruined carpet better not come out of my bond.

UGH....I HATE moving.

Why am i feeling so BLAH today? Maybe it is because i have to go to hospital alone tomorrow. UGH.

A Pet's 10 Commandments

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years… Any separation from you is likely to be painful.

2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.

3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4. Don’t be angry with me for long and don’t lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.

5. Talk to me. Even if I don’t understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I’m not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.

9. Please take care of me when I grow old – remember, you too, will grow old.

10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me, please Never say you can’t bear to watch. Don’t make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

-Anonymous

I Love you Nixon

The bottom of my car is falling off

Ha! Seriously...there is this plastic bit of my car, that is attached to the bumper at the front, right? Every time i drive in or out of my crappy driveway, it scrapes on the ground. Lately, it has been scraping more and more...until now, it just scrapes all the bloody time! Every time i brake, or slow down, and my car goes lower...this plastic thing under my car scrapes on the pavement and makes the loudest noise ever.

I looked under my car today, and this hard plastic thing is practically just hanging there. I tried to pull it right off, but it would not come off and now i have just made it worse.

So now, not only do i have a mental Nixon that constantly has his head out the window, barking at every cat he sees, SO LOUD, that everyone stops and stares at my car...i have a loud as scraping noise.

I tried to bend the stupid bit of plastic back up into it's place, and it won't stay put. I am seriously thinking about driving around in reverse until it breaks off.

I need some plastic cutting scissors or something.

Ugh.

I have had a good day - other than the scraping noise. I got all my laundry folded. I cleaned my whole house. I made home made hamburgers for dinner, then did not feel much like my run after eating two of them - but i still went - so am feeling good after that.

I have been having a bit of a debate on Facebook with my friend Rachael, who is a Green Party candidate. She is an awesome, awesome lady, but we have very differing views re Sue Bradford's anti smacking bill. I don't agree with it - Rachael does. As a victim of abuse as a child, Rachael believes that any smacking is child abuse. I believe that the anti smacking bill has done nothing to stop child abuse in this country. I believe that all it has done is demonise good parents who discipline their children - and that NOT disciplining your child is a form of abuse, that is by far worse, than giving them a smack on the bum when they have been naughty. The real child abusers in this country, don't pay attention to the law anyway.

That is my opinion.

It is always interesting though, to me, to see how all of our different life experiences bring us to believe and think the way that we do. Rachael and i both ultimately want to the same thing - to see New Zealand's record for the care of our children at the top of the OECD - not languishing at the bottom...but our different life experiences give us each a different outlook on how that could happen.

The solution is probably somewhere in the middle of our differing opinions. I think it would be nice to hear what Sue Bradford actually proposes IS a suitable form of punishment, and what valid ideas she has for an alternative...other than "time out" ...etc which often doesn't work, or is not viable when you are in a car park and your 3 year old has just run off out in front of a car.

I have never heard ideas for alternative forms of discipline come from Sue. All i have seen, and heard from her are comments like the following -

Sue Bradford - And do all you good people realise that Winston Peters is likely to be running an election campaign this year which has a key goal of restoring parents' rights to legally assault their children?


3 hours ago · LikeUnlike · 2 people2 people like this.

New Zealand is going to be in trouble in ten years time when all these kids who have had no boundaries or rules to live by, because they know they can't be punished - become adults.

And that is about all i have to say tonight. :)

Back to worrying about that stupid bit of plastic!

Interact With This...

"The words that I speak to you are life" - John 6:63 NKJV

Don't just read this devotional, interact with it. To get the most out of each day, find an insight and reflect on it; a nugget of truth you ponder throughout the day.

Paul told Timothy, 'Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this' (2 Timothy 2:7 NIV). The more you reflect, the more God will reveal. Then, find a verse and memorise it. This verse should encapsulate a truth you've just read. If you want to improve the quality of your life, memorising Scripture is one of the most important habits you can begin. Write the verse down and read it every chance you get. Like a seed planted, it will produce life in you. Jesus said, '... The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life.'

Then try to find a question and personalise it. This question should help you to think about what you've read and how it applies to you personally. The question is not just, 'What is God saying?' but, 'What is He saying to me?' By writing down your thoughts you can find the answer to that question.

Finally, find a principle and act on it. Information only turns to transformation when you do something about what you've read. James writes, 'But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does' (James 1:25 NIV).

Your life is worth taking time to think about! So when you read this devotional, do these four things.

Huh - i already do those things every day. That is the main reason that i share these on my blog - because i write my thoughts after them. I have been doing that for ages now - like a year.

Last year when i briefly decided to stop writing in my blog, because of all the attention it had gotten, i missed it, and noticed a negative difference in my life - mind you, that could have had something to do with the company that i was keeping at the time!  Just reading these emails that i receive every day though, did not have the same effect on me, my attitude, or my life, as putting them on my blog, and writing about them did.

Anyway...I am so glad that i did not go out anywhere last night. I had a fantastic sleep and am feeling absolutely superb today, despite the fact that i am feeling so sad, that my supermodel is now on a plane back to Sydney.

That totally sucks.

I better get moving, and keep myself busy today so that i don't think about it much. I have a house to clean, and a run to go on. Food shopping to do, and that pile of laundry doesn't seem to want to go anywhere! It is still calling my name! and now there are two more loads to hang out. Why do teenagers create so much laundry? On the weeks that i don't have them, i do one load for the whole week - when they are here, it is more like three loads a day!

I get the feeling that they just chuck clothes in the laundry hamper because it is easier than putting them away!

Arrrrghhhhhh!

Next week is Nick's week. Phew!

Secret diary of ... Michael Laws

Secret diary of ... Michael Laws Stuff.co.nz

OPINION: In this week's May Contain Facts, Stephen Braunias explores the secret diary of Michael Laws.

Monday

I hate liberals. They make me sick to my stomach. They're the most intolerant people in the world.

Even the sight of a liberal makes me want to vomit.

I saw one this morning, and threw up all over my shoes. I ran home, scraped it off with a knife, and smeared it on a blank sheet of A4 paper.

I bet his name was Russell. Not many people know this, but studies show that 97 per cent of liberals are called Russell, including the women. But say that to a liberal and they just roll their eyes and resort to personal abuse, because facts are anathema to a liberal.

Well, here's another fact. Liberals are scum.

Tuesday

I hate the poor. It says in The Bible, "They will always be with us".

Not many people know this, but the line which comes after is, "And so will vermin".

I saw a poor person this morning. The bile rose in my throat, and I kept it there until I ran home and was able to spit it out all over a blank sheet of A4 paper.

Wednesday

God save us from the blogosphere, that bottomless cesspit of ill-informed blather, venal accusation, bigotry, hatred, spleen, bullying, and intolerance.

Media commentators Russell Brown and Brian Edwards have had a go at me this week on their blogs. Both object to comments I made about the Christchurch looter who is afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome.

"What d'you reckon, listeners," I said to my audience on Radio Live today, "should we track them down and kill them so that free speech can survive?" Adolf, of Invercargill, said: "Ja! I have a pitchfork!"

Hermann, of Hamilton, said: "Nein! Forget the bloggers. Let's get the looters, especially the ones afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome. We must not let them breed."

Rudolf, of Nelson, said: "Ach! My head hurts! I think it may have something to do with the fact I set it on fire this morning. Does anyone know the number for 111?"

Thursday

I thought long and hard today whether to call a press conference to announce something about my personal life because my show on Radio Live is in the middle of ratings, but I decided against it, partly because I really value my privacy, and also because I couldn't think of anything to announce about my personal life.

Friday

Deadline day for my column in the Sunday paper. I already had most of it done, but it was lacking something, until I remembered that I hate the mentally ill.

The clock was ticking.

I ran out on to the street and looked around for someone who was obviously and disgustingly abnormal.

I knew the sight of a lunatic would get my juices flowing.

All they ever do is stand around feeding on the misery of others. Sickening!

But today was one of those days when everyone seemed normal.

Well, I didn't want to keep the paper waiting, so I ran back home, grabbed a blank sheet of A4 paper, and sat down on the toilet.

When I finished my business, I drove over to the office and hand-delivered the three pages.
"Cheers, Michael, looks good," they said. "It'll really stir them up on Sunday!"

The Sunday Star Times are trying HARD to make up for printing Michael Laws' hatred, and attempt at inciting violence last week. Despite how obvious that is - this just about brought tears to my eyes.

I especially liked Thursday!

Still - i hope no one buys the SST this week!

Accepting Our Calling | Worthiness

When we accept our divinity we no longer question whether we are worthy

because we know that we here for a purpose.

The issue of worthiness may come up in many areas of our lives, as we ask, often unconsciously, whether we are worthy of success, love, happiness, and countless other things, from supportive relationships to a beautiful home. In the end, though, it all comes down to one thing: our willingness to claim our space in this life as humans on this planet at this time. When we accept our divinity, we no longer question whether we are worthy, because we know that we are meant to be here to fulfill a particular purpose, a purpose that no one other than us can fulfill.

There are no replacements who can take over and live our lives for us, no other person who has had the experiences we have had, who has access to the same resources and relationships, who carries the same message to share with the world. Our purpose may be large or small, and in most cases it is multi-leveled, with important actions taking place on the interpersonal level, as well as in terms of the work we do in the world. Small acts of kindness share the stage with large acts of sacrifice, and only through accepting and honoring our divinity can we know what we are called to do and when.

Ultimately, we are all equally, exactly, completely worthy of being here in this life. Moreover, we are all essential to the unfolding plan of which we are each one small, but important, part. If we suffer from low self worth, it is because we have lost track of understanding this truth, and allowing it to guide our actions in the world. Seeing ourselves as part of something larger, as beings called to serve, is the ultimate cure for feelings of unworthiness. In the end, it’s not about evaluating ourselves as worthy or unworthy, so much as it’s about accepting that we have been called here to serve and taking the steps required to listen and respond to what our lives are asking us to do. ~ The Daily OM

I was supposed to go to that David Tua thing out in Manukau tonight, but i decided at kinda, the last minute, that i was way too tired, and could not be bothered moving. I have never seen live boxing before. Not sure i really wanted to either, so that was probably half the reason why i decided to just tuck myself into bed, with my laptop, and hang out on my own tonight. That, and the fact that Nicole has a friend staying the night and they probably would have snuck out if i had gone anyway - in fact i will still have to drag my butt out of bed at 3am and make sure that it is their bodies that are in their beds, and not just a bunch of pillows impersonating them!

I have had a busy enough weekend as it is anyway. I am shattered. I am also very bummed out that the supermodel is leaving early tomorrow morning. I won't get to see her again now.

Stink buzz. I am going to have to try to get over there to visit her. Airfares are fairly cheap at the moment. Her flights only cost her $260 return! It cost more than that to fly one way, back to Auckland from Wanganui! Crazy!

On that note, it is time for some much needed beauty sleep! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

20 years - just gone...

March 2011



Mount Maunganui New Years Eve 1991

 
 Where did it go? Crazy stuff!

I don't want her to go back to Aussie. It has been so lovely having her here.  :(

For Better Or For Worse

"Having loved His own... He loved them to the end" - John 13:1 NKJV

On a busy morning, a nurse in the crowded emergency room seated an elderly gentleman who had come to have stitches removed from his hand. He said, 'I'm in a hurry, nurse. I have an appointment in an hour.' As the line of patients ahead of him moved slowly he kept looking anxiously at his watch. Knowing he'd never make his appointment, the nurse led him to an examination room, checked his vital signs and evaluated the condition of his wound. Seeing it was well healed, she consulted with one of the doctors and got clearance to remove his sutures and re-dress his wound.

She asked, 'Are you hurrying to another doctor's appointment?' He said, 'No, I'm on my way to have breakfast with my wife at the nursing home.' She asked about his wife's health and learned she was a victim of Alzheimer's disease. 'Will she be upset if you're late?' The old man told her she hadn't recognised him in five years. Surprised, the nurse asked, 'And you still go to see her every morning, although she doesn't know who you are?' The old man smiled, patted her hand and replied, 'Oh, yes. She doesn't know who I am, but I still know who she is!'

Loving 'for better or for worse' means being committed to each other in every season and circumstance of life. It's how Christ loves us: '... Having loved His own... He loved them to the end.' And it's why He said, 'A new command I give you... As I have loved you, so you must love one another' (John 13:34 NIV).

Ugh...that story just makes me sad. :(

I hung out with a girlfriend last night. I had like half a beer the whole night and feel so hungover today it is beyond a joke. My head is killing me.

I have been up since 8am, when the supermodel knocked on the door because she had snuck out of her parent's home ...for a smoke. haha Then i popped back over to the friend's place that i hung out with last night - for the sole purpose of having a big b*tch about men - mainly her one this time (for a change...)

Now i am back home, and staring at the pile of laundry that is beckoning me, from the other couch. I don't want to fold it.

Oh yay - the supermodel just pulled up for another smoke!

No obstacle is bigger than my pile of laundry right now...

Standing When Everything Around You Is Falling - 2

"Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" - 1 Corinthians 10:12 NKJV

The truth is that standing isn't inevitable, but it is possible! The moment you commit your life to Jesus, you're at war with satan. And standing up to him requires staying armed. 'Put on the full armour of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil... that you will... resist in the evil day... and... stand firm' (Ephesians 6:11, 13 NAS).

War is a casualty-laden business; you must take it as seriously as the enemy does, for the Bible says he's out '... seeking someone to devour' (1 Peter 5:8 NAS). Be alert, but not alarmed. 'A thousand may fall at your side... but it shall not [happen to] you' (Psalm 91:7 NAS). In conflict, some stand and some fall. The difference is that those who stand 'have made the Lord... [their] dwelling place' (Psalm 91), whereas those who fall 'make flesh [their] strength' (Jeremiah 17:5 NAS).

The truth is also that falling isn't always preventable, but it's surmountable! It's not only the weak and immature who fall. Satan's strategy includes taking out the righteous, the unrighteous, the most vulnerable and the least vulnerable - high-rankers included. '... A righteous man falls seven times, and rises again... ' (Proverbs 24:16 NAS). Now if the righteous fall so frequently, what's to be anticipated from everyone else?

In war no one is guaranteed immunity from attack. But, '... A good man... Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand' (Psalm 37:23-24 KJV). Don't focus on the unable, or the disabled, but on Christ the Enabler!

I picked my supermodel friend up from the airport last night. It was sooooo nice to see her after so many years. We dropped the kids back home, then headed to Highland Park for a St Patrick's Day beer. We had thought we might pop in to the local Irish pub, but that was not meant to be. O'Hagans was bursting at the seams. People were nearly spilling out on to the Pakuranga Highway. Who could be bothered with that kind of crowd? So we showed the grotty little bar next door, that was nearly empty, some love, and went there.

It was so nice to see her. She is here to visit her parents, because her mother has just had a hip replacement, but hopefully i will get to spend some more time with her before she heads back on Sunday. She is nearly 40 years old, and still hides the fact that she smokes from her parents! haha So she has warned me that she will be dying to pop over and see me...to smoke. I can't imagine being 40 and still hiding something like that from my parents. What a crack up. I am guessing though, that my parents could only wish that i would hide things from them!

Have i mentioned that i have run a total of 325 kilometres this year? I can now eat 148 donuts - and it won't matter!

Speaking of which - i stopped at Burger King on my way home last night, after dropping the supermodel at her parent's place, and then proceeded to inhale a Whopper burger - in bed. One of the great things about being single is being able to lie in bed and eat greasy food, and not worry about rolling around in the crumbs you have made all. Night. Long.

Ahhhh life is good!

I have been made redundant...

About Arie - A response from Russel Brown regarding Michael likening Aspergers to Paedophilia. I particularly like the line - "No, Michael, you're not autistic. You're just a piece of shit."

A Black Eye for Liberal Bleaters - Michael's hideous SST column about Arie, which the SST Editor is now claiming to have not read before it went to print. What kind of editor does not even read what is printed in his paper?

A Line-By-Line Commentary on Michael Laws’ Column on Asperger’s ‘Looter’ Arie Smith in today’s Sunday Star Times - Brian Edwards' response to that hideous column

Michael Laws Can Bite Me - A mother of a child with Asperger's writes to Michael

Michael Laws Really Is a Special Little Man- That mother's response to Michael after he responded to her email and blamed her for her son's Aspergers. Gee - i wonder if it was Michael's fault that Lucy got Leukemia?

More Vileness from Michael Laws - "If you ever had doubts about the odious nature not only of much of Laws’ writing, but of the man himself. those doubts will be soon erased." ~ Brian Edwards

Michael Laws defends 'outrageous' Asperger's comments - The comments after this article are GOLD. Michael is in there calling people names. LOL

In fact all of those blogs are worth reading - just for the comments after.

Laws Complaint - A formal complaint made with the Auckland Central Police Station in relation to Michael Laws inciting violence in his SST column with this sentence - "In the end, justice has been done, blackened eye and all. Now let's similarly identify the other Christchurch looters and mete out similar justice." ~ Michael Laws

Hmmmm since every other blogger, journalist, and well - New Zealander - is writing about what a dishonest, angry, and hate filled man Michael Laws is...i am going to have to find something else to write about. Oh dear.

Personally, i don't understand why people bother asking him to explain, or apologise. It will never happen, and the less he speaks - the better.

I think we should just all breath a sigh of relief that it appears he has given up any, and all hope of a return to National Politics, as that was his plan last year. That is all i have ever really cared about - that he was never in a position to be making decisions that will affect New Zealanders, for the simple reason that he does not care about New Zealanders - or anyone - for that matter, other than himself.

I think what we have witnessed here, is another classic example of how methamphetamine destroys everyone and everything that it touches. It is my belief now, and has been for some months, that Michael is a methamphetamine addict. The anger, the hate, the insanity, the not caring about anyone or anything, the denial, his deteriorating appearance....i could go on and on...but i won't.

Put down your glass pipe Michael - and get some help. That lollipop might fix your dry meth mouth temporarily, but it won't fix your mind - or your life.

Michael Laws and his lollipop

'Car door' driver charged over cyclist's death

'Car door' driver charged over cyclist's death - National - NZ Herald News

A man who opened a car door and allegedly caused a cyclist to fatally swerve into the path of a truck will face a criminal charge over her death.

Jane Mary Bishop, 27, was killed while riding on Tamaki Drive in November. It was the fourth of five New Zealand cycling fatalities in one week.

The nurse was cycling home from downtown Auckland along the popular waterfront route when she dodged the door of a car parked on the corner near Kelly Tarlton's about 6.30pm.

She missed the car, but was hit by a truck travelling in the same direction. Firefighters freed her from the back wheels and performed CPR but Ms Bishop died at the scene.

After a three-month investigation, police have charged the man who opened the car door with causing the fatal crash.

The 35-year-old is to appear in Auckland District Court on Friday charged with careless use of a motor vehicle causing death.

It is the same charge laid against the two drivers who killed the four other cyclists in that same week in November. Cycle Action Auckland spokeswoman Barbara Cuthbert, a campaigner for safety improvements on Tamaki Drive, said the criminal charge sent a safety message to motorists.

"I know so many cyclists who have been 'doored'. Often it ends in injury, this time it was a horrendous death. The police are sending a message to drivers to break a habit which is hazardous. The simple act of opening a door ... just look first."

Ms Cuthbert had sympathy for the man who opened the door.

"It must have been traumatic for him. He'll never make that mistake again. But this charge will stop someone else from making the same mistake in the future."

The charge of careless use of a vehicle causing death for opening a car door has been laid before.

In May 2000, Hayley Roseanne Britt, 23, was sentenced to 125 hours of community work and disqualified from driving for six months.

She opened the car door and knocked a 14-year-old boy off his bicycle and into traffic. He suffered severe head injuries and later died.

"From time to time we are sadly reminded what can happen when a door is opened and a cyclist struck," Judge Edward Ryan said in sentencing Ms Britt.

Ms Bishop was from East Sussex in England and was in New Zealand on a working holiday.

She was going to be a bridesmaid at her best friend's wedding in May, and bought the bike in an effort to get fit for the celebrations in the UK.

Days after Ms Bishop's death in November, Auckland Transport removed four car parking spaces at the traffic pinch-point on the stretch of road where she was struck.

The removal of the Tamaki Drive spaces came four years after lobby group Cycle Action Auckland asked Auckland City Council to do it, warning that a gap between a new raised median barrier and parked cars was too narrow to be shared by bikes and motor vehicles.

I can't believe this. I cannot believe that a person can be charged with a criminal offence, for opening their car door!

Why does this article NOT point out that the woman was riding her bike on the road, when there is a perfectly good cycling lane on the footpath, that had she had the brains to use, would have meant that she would still be alive today?!?!

I remember going for a walk along the waterfront, just days after this happened, and seeing all the painted drawings on the road, from the accident. I remember thinking how awful the person who was in their car, and did nothing more than open their door, to get out of their car would be feeling at that point in time. I remember walking along the foot path with Nixon, and wondering why on earth she was on the road in the first place, when the Auckland City Council had obviously gone to great lengths, and expense to ensure there was a SAFE cycling lane, that is off the road, because of it being such a popular area for cyclists.

This person who opened their car door is not a criminal, and did not break any laws. Why does someone have to be to blame? And if someone HAS to be to blame, why would none of that blame lie with the cyclist who should have been riding her bike in the cycling lane...just because she happened to die?  Why is it this man's responsibility to teach everyone else to look before they open their car doors?

The whole story is tragic, but i don't see how bringing criminal charges against someone who did not break the law, is going to teach anyone any lesson, or do anyone any good. It won't teach cyclists that cycling lanes are perhaps, there for a reason...and it certainly won't bring her back.

The fact that the council removed the parking spaces in that area straight after the accident just goes to show how unsafe the area was for cyclists in the first place. Why have the council not been charged as well then?

The world has gone mad.

Standing When Everything Around You Is Falling - 1

"Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" - 1 Corinthians 10:12 NKJV

Satan is out to tempt, trap and topple you. One of his favourite lies is that you can't fall. He appeals to your ego: 'You've got your spiritual act together; you're too strong to stumble. Weaker people wouldn't be able to handle it, but you can.' This lie is intended to make you over-confident, to lead you to '... Trust in man... depend on flesh for (your) strength' and '... turn away from the Lord' (Jeremiah 17:5 NIV). It's designed to get you to lower your guard and make you vulnerable to his schemes. Don't play into his hands!

Be wise: 'Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall' (Proverbs 16:18 NKJV). Live on your knees. Fortify yourself with God's Word. Another of satan's favourite lies is that you can't stand. This appeals to your underlying sense of unworthiness, fear and inadequacy. He whispers, 'Look at your track record. Compared to all those other good folks in church, you're not worthy to be called a Christian. Just give up.'

Satan wants to divert you from '... Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy' (Jude 24 NAS). He wants to get you focused on your negatives, your wayward friends, spiritual giants who fell, and tell you that because they couldn't make it, you've no chance. He'll replay your list of shortcomings to discourage you. Don't go for it. '... He is a liar and the father of lies' (John 8:44 NAS). Believing him makes you his victim. Refuse to let either pride or inadequacy defeat you.

I love this. I already know how weak i am, and that is why i am so careful about who, and what i allow into my life these days. I will never be over confident, or forget how easy it would be for me to "stumble."

I remember thinking last year, when i was going through a difficult time, that someone that i had in my life at the time, was actually satan trying to drag me back. That might sound crazy to some of you lot, but if you had been there, it wouldn't...and i know a lot of people DO understand how i could have thought, and still do think that way.

Anyway - crappy, crappy sleep overnight. Mental note to myself - when i wake up in the middle of the night - DO NOT FLIP OPEN LAPTOP AND GET ON FACEBOOK - even if it is only for a few seconds. As soon as i comment on something, and someone overseas in a different timezone sees that i am awake...my phone starts ringing! Problem is, they usually see my comment a half hour after i have posted it, and by the time they ring, i am fast asleep again. I am truly starting to hate Gin Wigmore (she is my ring tone) these days!

Right - "Giselle" arrives from Sydney tonight!!! Yippppiiieeee!!! I have not seen her since 2002, and i am picking her up from the airport tonight. I Can. Not. Wait. To. See. Her!

I wasted my whole evening...

I skipped my run tonight, and wasted my whole evening googling "Chris Brown Naked Photo" ...i had heard it was worth the effort haha...but the closest i got was this....

That is pretty unfair if you ask me.

I am only curious about it, because Jay Jay Feeney from The Edge spent her morning walking around downtown with the photo, showing it to people, and getting their reactions. The reactions were pretty funny - that is the only reason i want to see it.

Seriously. I am not. Lying. That is the ONLY reason.

***Update***

I found it. I won't post it here because it might take up the whole webpage. lol

On that note, my mission for the night has been accomplished...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ( the zzzzs are for snoring - not buzzing - just in case you were wondering!) ;)

By God's Grace You'll Make It

'...Out of weakness were made strong...'Hebrews 11:34 NKJV

The Bible speaks of '...Samson and Jephthah, also of David and Samuel... who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong...' (Hebrews 11:32-34 NKJV).

Who were these people? Jephthah was a social outcast born to an unwed mother. Samuel was a great prophet but not a great parent. David wrote the Psalms but had an affair. '...Out of weakness were made strong...'.

Notice, they didn't start out strong, they became strong. And if they can make it, you can too! For reasons God never explains, He chooses to work through people like us. He places us in difficult situations then unlocks our faith, compassion and creativity. When we don't know which way to go, He connects us with those who can open the right door at the right moment.

Does that mean we won't experience fear? No, progress has always been made by people who faced their fears and rose above them. They knew that opportunity and security were opposites. The truth is, if the challenge you're facing doesn't place a demand on your faith, it neither pleases God nor involves Him.

Phillips Brooks said, 'Do not pray for easy lives; pray to be stronger people. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers; pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle. Every day you shall wonder at yourself, at the richness of life which has come to you by the grace of God.'

"Notice, they didn't start out strong, they became strong. And if they can make it, you can too! For reasons God never explains, He chooses to work through people like us. He places us in difficult situations then unlocks our faith, compassion and creativity. When we don't know which way to go, He connects us with those who can open the right door at the right moment. "

It is that logic that rid me of the regret, guilt, and shame that i was living with. I know there is a reason that i went through everything that i went through. I also know that i am a better person now, than i ever was before that awful part of my life. I don't know if i believe that God put me in that terrible situation - that seems a bit like offloading personal responsibility - but he sure unlocked my faith, compassion, and creativity while i was there.

I look back on every experience that i have had, as a blessing now. I would not be the person that i am today, without them.

Life is good.

I am glad that it is not so sunny and hot today. I would even go so far as to say that i would not mind a bit of rain.

I ran into my stepdad at Foodtown the other night, and he is off to the hospital today for some "man tests" for lack of a better description, without grossing everyone out  - so sending positive thoughts his way - along with a bit of a giggle at the thought of it. haha Sorry G! but the mental pic is kinda funny!

EW!

I have backtracked on my backtrack re Mr Nice...and have just not replied to his texts since Monday. I have decided that i was not being "cold" or "hard" as he described me... I was being smart.

The end.

Chernobyl

I watched a documentary, not long ago, about Chernobyl. I was 15 when it happened, living in America, and could not remember hearing about it, at the time. 25 years later though, Prypyat is still an eerie, and scary looking ghost town, where nothing is able to survive.

At the time, authorities embarked on an attempted cover-up and only partly admitted the truth three days later, denying themselves the chance of rapid international aid. The truth only became known to the world when a radioactive cloud reached Sweden.

The difference between Chernobyl and Japan right now, is that Chernobyl was caused by human error, and the threat to the nuclear plants in Japan have been caused by natural disaster - but that is about where the differences end.



 

"The official position of the Chernobyl Forum (a group of UN agencies) is that about 9,000 related deaths have occurred and some 200,000 people have illnesses caused by the catastrophe," authors Alexei Yablokov, Vasily Nesterenko and Alexei Nesterenko wrote in "Chernobyl: Consequences of the catastrophe for people and the Environment".

"A more accurate number estimates nearly 400 million human beings have been exposed to Chernobyl's radioactive fallout and, for many generations, they and their descendants will suffer the devastating consequences."

The authors argued that the global death toll by 2004 was closer to 1 million and said health effects included birth defects, pregnancy losses, accelerated aging, brain damage, heart, endocrine, kidney, gastrointestinal and lung diseases.

"It is clear that tens of millions of people, not only in Belarus, Ukraine and Russia, but worldwide, will live under measurable chronic radioactive contamination for many decades,"  ~ Chernobyl Today

I am not trying to scare anyone - least of all myself. I just thought i would share what i have found regarding all of this, since i read that ridiculous news headline, telling New Zealanders that we don't have to worry about any nuclear fallout due to anything that is happening in Japan right now.
 
This is Earth that we are talking about. We all live here. This planet is our home, and what is happening in Japan right now, will effect the entire planet. For some silly scientist to declare that we should not be worried, and for a journalist to print that, is at the very least irresponsible - at worst a complete lie.
 
It seems some people have learned nothing in the past 25 years.