Land Transport (Road User) Amendment Rule 2009 NZ Transport Agency
I found it interesting tonight, that 3 news reported that there are nearly 100 law changes relating to road users as from midnight tonight. I have heard of only two that have received any publicity. Obviously, the cell phone ban, along with the compulsory use of headlights during the day for motorcycles.
Since ignorance is no defence, when it comes to the law...i thought i would share where i found the rest of these changes. If you scroll down to the bottom and click on "amendment" it opens up some nice bed time reading for everyone tonight.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
October 31, 2009
Today
I have spent today playing tour guide, for my friend Marcus. We have been to One Tree Hill...and walked with Nixon up to the top.
We then went to a very flash pet store, that had all sorts of things that i could spend my money on for Nixon...unfortunately, i could only afford to buy him a new collar and leash, that he would not get all tangled up in. He was forever getting tangled up in his old one. I got him the coolest red collar that looks like a bandanna, and a matching red leash that he does not get tangled up in and is easier on my hands too. He literally drags me along behind him. He loves his runs so much.
Anyway...he looks gorgeous in his new attire, and with the haircut that he has had. I will take a photo of him when he wakes up. He is asleep at my feet right now. He is pooped. We will return to that pet shop and spend up big...after i have made my first million. ha
We went for a drive around the water front. Then up to Bastian Point, where Nixon got another run and lots of attention from the people that were up there flying kites, sitting in the sun reading...playing rugby etc.
I can't believe that i used to hide in that apartment my whole life. It feels so good to be out in the fresh air and sunshine, and watching other people do the same. Bugger being inside.
Nixon enjoyed the long car ride, but he has scratched the crap out of the tops of my thighs by jumping on my legs to get out of the car for his run as fast as he can. Remind me not to wear shorts again, if i plan on going for a long drive with Nixon.
Anyway...i think i need a nap. I am going to cook a nice healthy dinner tonight and we are downloading documentaries that Marcus and i have both wanted to watch...and that is what we shall be doing tonight.
I'm tired...all that driving and running around and fresh air took it out of me. Working in the garden will have to wait until tomorrow.
Back later, alligators.
We then went to a very flash pet store, that had all sorts of things that i could spend my money on for Nixon...unfortunately, i could only afford to buy him a new collar and leash, that he would not get all tangled up in. He was forever getting tangled up in his old one. I got him the coolest red collar that looks like a bandanna, and a matching red leash that he does not get tangled up in and is easier on my hands too. He literally drags me along behind him. He loves his runs so much.
Anyway...he looks gorgeous in his new attire, and with the haircut that he has had. I will take a photo of him when he wakes up. He is asleep at my feet right now. He is pooped. We will return to that pet shop and spend up big...after i have made my first million. ha
We went for a drive around the water front. Then up to Bastian Point, where Nixon got another run and lots of attention from the people that were up there flying kites, sitting in the sun reading...playing rugby etc.
I can't believe that i used to hide in that apartment my whole life. It feels so good to be out in the fresh air and sunshine, and watching other people do the same. Bugger being inside.
Nixon enjoyed the long car ride, but he has scratched the crap out of the tops of my thighs by jumping on my legs to get out of the car for his run as fast as he can. Remind me not to wear shorts again, if i plan on going for a long drive with Nixon.
Anyway...i think i need a nap. I am going to cook a nice healthy dinner tonight and we are downloading documentaries that Marcus and i have both wanted to watch...and that is what we shall be doing tonight.
I'm tired...all that driving and running around and fresh air took it out of me. Working in the garden will have to wait until tomorrow.
Back later, alligators.
Halloween - Spookers
Halloween - Auckland South - Eventfinder
Spookers...oh my gosh i want to go. This is THE scariest haunted house that i have ever been to. I lost my voice from screaming. I grew up in America where Halloween is huge. I have been to many, many haunted houses in my time...and Spookers is by far...the BEST.
I want to go again tonight! But i won't...that would mean leaving Nixon in the car, and i can't do that.
Spookers...oh my gosh i want to go. This is THE scariest haunted house that i have ever been to. I lost my voice from screaming. I grew up in America where Halloween is huge. I have been to many, many haunted houses in my time...and Spookers is by far...the BEST.
I want to go again tonight! But i won't...that would mean leaving Nixon in the car, and i can't do that.
Steve Crow drops bid for RSA presidency - Yahoo!Xtra News
What a dick. I can't stand this guy. Fancy running for presidency of something, just to spite someone else. What a reason. Bet he would have made a fantastic president. DICK.
Spite is so ugly. He grosses me out.
Porn king Steve Crow has dropped his bid to become president of the New Plymouth RSA.
Eyebrows were raised when Crow announced earlier this he was standing for the position but yesterday he said had now withdrawn his application.
He would still stand for other positions on the club's executive committee at its AGM today.
He told the Taranaki Daily News he put his name forward for the presidency to prevent another person, he would not name, getting the job. But that person was now not standing.
Crow and his brother, Inglewood builder David Crow, bought the RSA's clubrooms off the financially floundering organisation last year for $1.9 million.
They eventually plan a multi-million dollar development at the site.
Amendment to previous post
NONE of me regrets that part of my life.
I am a better person, for the things that it taught me, and the positive things i have kept with me from it. Without it i would not appreciate every single day, and every single blessing that is sent my way, the way that i do now.
I would not know how to love myself, my life, or anything or anyone else, the way that i do now.
I would not take such huge pleasure in the tiny things, the way that i do now. I literally do, stop to smell the roses now.
Looking out my window at the beautiful blue sky and my veggie garden would not make me feel as good as i do, doing that right now.
I would not be happy. I literally did, paint lemons gold.
I am a better person, for the things that it taught me, and the positive things i have kept with me from it. Without it i would not appreciate every single day, and every single blessing that is sent my way, the way that i do now.
I would not know how to love myself, my life, or anything or anyone else, the way that i do now.
I would not take such huge pleasure in the tiny things, the way that i do now. I literally do, stop to smell the roses now.
Looking out my window at the beautiful blue sky and my veggie garden would not make me feel as good as i do, doing that right now.
I would not be happy. I literally did, paint lemons gold.
Part of me does not regret that life
While i could never go back and do it again, or live that kind of life now, i know that it changed me. At the time all the change felt negative. I always said to myself, if that life ever changed me, i would get out. I was scared of becoming hardened, like so many of the people that i met.
Every experience that we have every day,does change us though i guess, even if only in a small way.
I think about my outlook on life now, my personality now, my perceptions and expectations of other people now,. I think about my perceptions and expectations of myself, and the difference in the way that i react to everything that happens in my life now, as opposed to how i would have reacted this time last year, and i realise that life did change me. It changed me for the better.
I have taken the positive from that life with me when i left it, and i left behind the negative.
Where i used to judge others, i am now accepting of other people's behaviour and opinions. I no longer place expectations on the people that i have in my life. I am far less stressed than i used to be. Little things don't worry me like they used to. I used to be so stressed about everything, that sometimes my chest would feel tight. I'm relaxed about life, and the things that are going on around me. I no longer react to other people or situations, without thinking. I no longer take offence when i feel i am being unfairly judged. I used to get so upset and angry, if i felt someone was treating me unfairly, or was being critical of me. Now...i just can't bring myself to worry about those things.
I see people from the inside out now. Outward appearances mean nothing to me.
I can admit when i am wrong, and that i make mistakes, and apologise for those mistakes. I never used to be wrong. Ever.
I could go on and on, about the way that life has changed me and how i am not the same person today that i was a year ago....but it's Nixon's run time, before he does his business inside.
I have a book called "Soul Food" ...it was one of the best books that i ever bought on my trips to Borders bookshop, with that man that i loved very much. That i still love and hope gets better. It is a recipe book for a happier life...It is full of advice on attitude. I thought i would share one page of this book today, as it pertains to what i have been thinking about this morning...
I am scared of losing him again, and i never want him to think i have left him.
Good morning sunshines...i am one day closer to being an Aunt again! For those of you that have not read my update in the comments section of my screaming post yesterday...My sister, Tracey and her husband Tim, who have been trying to have a baby for 4 years, and had been told it was unlikely....are 12 weeks pregnant!!!!!! This is unexpected as they had not tried any fertility treatment. I was the first person that my sister told, after seeing the heartbeat at her 12 week check up, and that was such an amazing gift...being the first person that she wanted to know.
I have always felt like it was some kind of cruel joke...how God gave me three beautiful, wonderful children without me even trying, but i have never found true lasting love or companionship with a partner that loves me....and Tracey had this absolutely wonderful husband and marriage, that i would die to have, yet she could not have children.
I felt like we both had what the other wanted so bad. She has the unconditional love of a man that she loves. I had three beautiful children...but neither of us was complete.
I am so grateful that she will get to experience being a mom. I know she will be the second best mom in the world...second only to our step mother, Monica.
I love you Tracey. xoxoxo
Every experience that we have every day,does change us though i guess, even if only in a small way.
I think about my outlook on life now, my personality now, my perceptions and expectations of other people now,. I think about my perceptions and expectations of myself, and the difference in the way that i react to everything that happens in my life now, as opposed to how i would have reacted this time last year, and i realise that life did change me. It changed me for the better.
I have taken the positive from that life with me when i left it, and i left behind the negative.
Where i used to judge others, i am now accepting of other people's behaviour and opinions. I no longer place expectations on the people that i have in my life. I am far less stressed than i used to be. Little things don't worry me like they used to. I used to be so stressed about everything, that sometimes my chest would feel tight. I'm relaxed about life, and the things that are going on around me. I no longer react to other people or situations, without thinking. I no longer take offence when i feel i am being unfairly judged. I used to get so upset and angry, if i felt someone was treating me unfairly, or was being critical of me. Now...i just can't bring myself to worry about those things.
I see people from the inside out now. Outward appearances mean nothing to me.
I can admit when i am wrong, and that i make mistakes, and apologise for those mistakes. I never used to be wrong. Ever.
I could go on and on, about the way that life has changed me and how i am not the same person today that i was a year ago....but it's Nixon's run time, before he does his business inside.
I have a book called "Soul Food" ...it was one of the best books that i ever bought on my trips to Borders bookshop, with that man that i loved very much. That i still love and hope gets better. It is a recipe book for a happier life...It is full of advice on attitude. I thought i would share one page of this book today, as it pertains to what i have been thinking about this morning...
JudgementHaving Nixon back in my life, has been huge for me. I never want to lose him again. I never want to be without him. I want him with me always. I love that dog so much. I will be forever grateful, and always there for the person that enabled me to get him back. Nixon healed my broken heart. I don't think anyone realises the importance that i place on having him back.
Today, be aware of any judgements you make, or standards that you impose on others. Just because someone does not behave the way that we expect, or doesn't reach our standards, doesn't mean that we should impose a judgement. Who are we to determine how others should behave? It doesn't make sense to judge a person on their behaviour as we are generally unaware of their intentions. Very rarely do people act with bad intentions. So rather than creating negative energy for yourself by thinking badly about someone, be tolerant and compassionate.
I am scared of losing him again, and i never want him to think i have left him.
Good morning sunshines...i am one day closer to being an Aunt again! For those of you that have not read my update in the comments section of my screaming post yesterday...My sister, Tracey and her husband Tim, who have been trying to have a baby for 4 years, and had been told it was unlikely....are 12 weeks pregnant!!!!!! This is unexpected as they had not tried any fertility treatment. I was the first person that my sister told, after seeing the heartbeat at her 12 week check up, and that was such an amazing gift...being the first person that she wanted to know.
I have always felt like it was some kind of cruel joke...how God gave me three beautiful, wonderful children without me even trying, but i have never found true lasting love or companionship with a partner that loves me....and Tracey had this absolutely wonderful husband and marriage, that i would die to have, yet she could not have children.
I felt like we both had what the other wanted so bad. She has the unconditional love of a man that she loves. I had three beautiful children...but neither of us was complete.
I am so grateful that she will get to experience being a mom. I know she will be the second best mom in the world...second only to our step mother, Monica.
I love you Tracey. xoxoxo
Michael Laws
A famously-rude Kiwi politician has proposed a new solution to the country's dire child abuse problem - sterilise the "underclass".Hell...i think he might be NZ's only honest politician. I am undecided as to whether i love him...or just want to marry him. haha. The world needs more politicians like this.
Michael Laws - who stirred up contempt by calling the late Tongan King a "bloated brown slug" - has again hit headlines for the wrong reasons.
The regional mayor claimed that the children of social security beneficiaries, drug addicts and criminals had little chance in life and were prime targets for child abuse.
Sterilising their parents was the best solution, he brazenly suggested.
"If we gave $10,000 to certain people and said 'we'll voluntarily sterilise you' then all of society would be better off," he told the Dominion Post newspaper.
"There'd be less dead children and less social problems."
He was commenting on the latest death of a toddler, two-year-old Karl Perigo-Check, who was the son of a convicted murderer and gang member.
The little nation, which prides itself on its clean, green image and liberal social policy, is placed third among OECD nations for child deaths due to maltreatment, four spots ahead of Australia, according to UNICEF.
It is ranked fifth for both child beatings and sexual abuse, again several places ahead of its Antipodean neighbour.
Laws argued that "liberal methods" of beating the problem had failed.
But his "solution" has been branded "draconian" and "totalitarian" by the country's child health advocates who are calling for him to stand down as a city mayor.
"I just find it such a disgraceful attitude," said Child Poverty Action Group director Janfrie Wakim.
"It's hard to comprehend that an intelligent man who's leading a city is making such reprehensible suggestions."
This is just the latest controversy for Laws, who last month hit headlines for bullying primary school children.
The indigenous children had written to the mayor to express annoyance that he refused to make a subtle spelling change to the name of the North Island town, Wanganui, to make it historically correct.
But Laws, a fierce critic of the name change, took exception to the letters, replying: "There are so many deficiencies of both fact and logic in your letters that I barely know where to start".
He told them they should sack their teacher for suggesting they write to him
Love him or hate him...at least he is honest! He cracks me up all day long.
I am awake...and on the couch. I wonder if i will ever be able to actually sleep, with someone other than Nixon or the kids, at my place.
October 30, 2009
Severed foot 'washes up on shore' - Yahoo!Xtra News
Severed foot 'washes up on shore' - Yahoo!Xtra News
How hard can it be to find the owners? There can't be that many people in Vancouver, hobbling around on one foot.
I make myself laugh sometimes
How hard can it be to find the owners? There can't be that many people in Vancouver, hobbling around on one foot.
I make myself laugh sometimes
OH MY GOSH
This is the happiest day of my life since my children were born....and i can't tell anyone why yet!!!!!!!
I AM BUSTING TO TELL AND I AM CRYING I AM SO HAPPY.
GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS.
sorry people...after this news that i have received today...i am turning religious on you.
YIIIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I AM BUSTING TO TELL AND I AM CRYING I AM SO HAPPY.
GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS.
sorry people...after this news that i have received today...i am turning religious on you.
YIIIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Justified Cynicism
Oh my gosh...this is totally my new favourite SS thought of the day! Closely followed my the weeding one. haha I am going to have to make a whole separate web page just for SS and his fantastic finds.
October 29, 2009
This whole week has been fantastic...
I can't tell you everything that i have gotten up to, because not EVERYTHING can be blogged. I have to respect some of my friend's privacy!
I have not had much time alone since...hell...since my sad weekend two weeks ago. In fact no time alone at all, because Nixon has been here with me. I did not end up getting the girls tonight because they wanted to go to Waiuku with Nick...they had Halloween costumes at his place and things that they needed to grab for tomorrow. That was cool, because Nick has hardly seen them lately. I have been a total kid hog. I appreciate him immensely though...for letting me hog them.
I ended up not going to my class tonight. I did not go for two reasons...first reason was, that i have decided to wait a couple weeks and start going to one that is closer to my home. I am not fond of the city at night. There is one starting closer to where i live in a couple of weeks and i was given that option this afternoon. Reason number two was ...i had organised a babysitter for Nixon, but in the end i just could not leave him behind. I have to get over this. He has been with me non stop since i got him back. I have not left his side and vice versa...that is a lie...he got locked out of my bedroom at one stage but that is a whole other story!
My point is...i am scared that something will happen and i will lose him again. I did not want to leave him tonight. This is an issue that i am obviously going to have to work on!
We did 3 runs today. I always manage two short ones...and one nice long one to wear him out. Our long one today was around the Panmure Basin. The short ones were just around my home, so that he could do his toilet business. He met Dan the policeman today. I have noticed that Nixon gets very overly protective of me anytime there is a male around me. He growled and had to be sitting up on the middle console thing, in the car...right next to me, while Dan was in my car. It was funny.
We stopped by a friend's place after our run around the basin, and had a visit. It is nice to meet people, that have heard so much negative about me, and then hear how "awesome" they think i am now that they have met me. I met someone today that had only heard terrible things about me from someone. I got told later on how this person has no problem with what's his face as he has never done anything bad to him, but that i am obviously not the horrible person that i was made out to be. That felt good to hear.
I am organising to pack up everything that i have of what's his face's, and give it to someone to return it to him. I don't want anything of his anymore. I will even return that black belt, despite the fact that i will never see my grandmother's quilt again. I have all his financial papers and stuff, and i don't want them. I don't need proof of anything. The only thing i am going to keep is the proof of him forging my signature. Everything else, is getting packed into a box and given to someone to return to him.
I kept those things, in the hope that one day he would want them back, bad enough to face me and talk to me, and give me closure so that i could get over him and move on. I have now done that without his help and i don't ever want to see him again. Returning his things, is closing the chapter.
I'm selling the ring though. Bugger him. He biffed his...i might as well sell mine. Christmas present money for the girls.
Anyway...i am so tired now. Nixon is here cuddled up to me. I have a busy day tomorrow. I have lunch with a friend...then off to the airport. I might let Marcus drag me out to a movie or something. Going out to the pub and having a social life came up in conversation today and i told these friends that i still had not ventured out into a social situation yet. I have not been out socialising at night, or during the day, i have not been to a pub or out for dinner or even to a movie, since i was married.
I get a bit anxious at the thought. A movie will be a good first step haha.
I broke a fingernail. Stink buzz...they were looking so pretty. ha...I'm tired. Goodnight.
xoxoxox
I have not had much time alone since...hell...since my sad weekend two weeks ago. In fact no time alone at all, because Nixon has been here with me. I did not end up getting the girls tonight because they wanted to go to Waiuku with Nick...they had Halloween costumes at his place and things that they needed to grab for tomorrow. That was cool, because Nick has hardly seen them lately. I have been a total kid hog. I appreciate him immensely though...for letting me hog them.
I ended up not going to my class tonight. I did not go for two reasons...first reason was, that i have decided to wait a couple weeks and start going to one that is closer to my home. I am not fond of the city at night. There is one starting closer to where i live in a couple of weeks and i was given that option this afternoon. Reason number two was ...i had organised a babysitter for Nixon, but in the end i just could not leave him behind. I have to get over this. He has been with me non stop since i got him back. I have not left his side and vice versa...that is a lie...he got locked out of my bedroom at one stage but that is a whole other story!
My point is...i am scared that something will happen and i will lose him again. I did not want to leave him tonight. This is an issue that i am obviously going to have to work on!
We did 3 runs today. I always manage two short ones...and one nice long one to wear him out. Our long one today was around the Panmure Basin. The short ones were just around my home, so that he could do his toilet business. He met Dan the policeman today. I have noticed that Nixon gets very overly protective of me anytime there is a male around me. He growled and had to be sitting up on the middle console thing, in the car...right next to me, while Dan was in my car. It was funny.
We stopped by a friend's place after our run around the basin, and had a visit. It is nice to meet people, that have heard so much negative about me, and then hear how "awesome" they think i am now that they have met me. I met someone today that had only heard terrible things about me from someone. I got told later on how this person has no problem with what's his face as he has never done anything bad to him, but that i am obviously not the horrible person that i was made out to be. That felt good to hear.
I am organising to pack up everything that i have of what's his face's, and give it to someone to return it to him. I don't want anything of his anymore. I will even return that black belt, despite the fact that i will never see my grandmother's quilt again. I have all his financial papers and stuff, and i don't want them. I don't need proof of anything. The only thing i am going to keep is the proof of him forging my signature. Everything else, is getting packed into a box and given to someone to return to him.
I kept those things, in the hope that one day he would want them back, bad enough to face me and talk to me, and give me closure so that i could get over him and move on. I have now done that without his help and i don't ever want to see him again. Returning his things, is closing the chapter.
I'm selling the ring though. Bugger him. He biffed his...i might as well sell mine. Christmas present money for the girls.
Anyway...i am so tired now. Nixon is here cuddled up to me. I have a busy day tomorrow. I have lunch with a friend...then off to the airport. I might let Marcus drag me out to a movie or something. Going out to the pub and having a social life came up in conversation today and i told these friends that i still had not ventured out into a social situation yet. I have not been out socialising at night, or during the day, i have not been to a pub or out for dinner or even to a movie, since i was married.
I get a bit anxious at the thought. A movie will be a good first step haha.
I broke a fingernail. Stink buzz...they were looking so pretty. ha...I'm tired. Goodnight.
xoxoxox
I am starting a course tonight...
I am really looking forward to it. It is an 8 week course, that i will go to every Thursday night. It is run by an outfit called Inner City Women's Group...and their courses are aimed at preventing violence.
I have been an angry person for much of my life. I no longer feel the anger that i used to feel, but i want to understand it better, and learn how to manage it better, in the event that i ever do feel consumed by angry feelings, like i used to feel.
Anger is just a sign that something is not right. It is a normal feeling and i guess, just like every other feeling that we experience, there are right and wrong ways to manage them. My ex husband had told his ex flatmate that i was the worst mother in the world. My response to her was that in some ways...he was right. I did not know how to express myself when the kids had made me angry, so i used to just yell and swear at them all the time. Obviously, that was not an effective way to deal with them. Not every bad thing that he has told people about me has been untrue.
I always wanted to be a good person. I just did not know how. I had so much anger inside me over things that had happened in my life and i did not know how to express it, or get it out of my system.
I had an angry heart.
I no longer have an angry heart, but i want to be sure that i deal with it better, if that anger ever comes back.
The topics that are covered in the course that i am taking are...
- Undserstanding what anger is
- What lies beneath it
- Cool down tool kit
- Understanding family conflict roles
- Learning safe ways to express anger
- Developing new skills and strategies
- Effects of anger on self and others
- Learning to communicate so others will listen
The improvements that i am making to myself and my life are far from done. I will continue to try to improve myself and be a better person, until the day that i die. I am a work in progress. :-)
I am looking forward to starting this tonight, and who knows...i might even make some more friends. I am getting the kids tonight because the class goes for 2 hours and i don't want to leave Nixon alone.
YAY for getting the kids.
Back later....it's our run time.
I have been an angry person for much of my life. I no longer feel the anger that i used to feel, but i want to understand it better, and learn how to manage it better, in the event that i ever do feel consumed by angry feelings, like i used to feel.
Anger is just a sign that something is not right. It is a normal feeling and i guess, just like every other feeling that we experience, there are right and wrong ways to manage them. My ex husband had told his ex flatmate that i was the worst mother in the world. My response to her was that in some ways...he was right. I did not know how to express myself when the kids had made me angry, so i used to just yell and swear at them all the time. Obviously, that was not an effective way to deal with them. Not every bad thing that he has told people about me has been untrue.
I always wanted to be a good person. I just did not know how. I had so much anger inside me over things that had happened in my life and i did not know how to express it, or get it out of my system.
I had an angry heart.
I no longer have an angry heart, but i want to be sure that i deal with it better, if that anger ever comes back.
The topics that are covered in the course that i am taking are...
- Undserstanding what anger is
- What lies beneath it
- Cool down tool kit
- Understanding family conflict roles
- Learning safe ways to express anger
- Developing new skills and strategies
- Effects of anger on self and others
- Learning to communicate so others will listen
The improvements that i am making to myself and my life are far from done. I will continue to try to improve myself and be a better person, until the day that i die. I am a work in progress. :-)
I am looking forward to starting this tonight, and who knows...i might even make some more friends. I am getting the kids tonight because the class goes for 2 hours and i don't want to leave Nixon alone.
YAY for getting the kids.
Back later....it's our run time.
October 28, 2009
Too busy to blog?
This can't be happening. haha
I am seriously shattered after today, and my legs are so sore again from running. Nixon and i must have gone further yesterday, or something for them to be so sore again.
We ran past Pizza Hut and the boys all waved haha How funny.
Dan, is coming over tomorrow. Something came up and he didn't make it today. I get to see him tomorrow. Haven't seen him in a few days, and he has had personal crappy drama, so i can listen to his probs for a change.
Friday...Marcus arrives for the weekend. I am seriously tired, and think i am going to have the best sleep ever tonight. I promise to be back to my normal funny, opinionated, always right...blogging self tomorrow haha
xox
I am seriously shattered after today, and my legs are so sore again from running. Nixon and i must have gone further yesterday, or something for them to be so sore again.
We ran past Pizza Hut and the boys all waved haha How funny.
Dan, is coming over tomorrow. Something came up and he didn't make it today. I get to see him tomorrow. Haven't seen him in a few days, and he has had personal crappy drama, so i can listen to his probs for a change.
Friday...Marcus arrives for the weekend. I am seriously tired, and think i am going to have the best sleep ever tonight. I promise to be back to my normal funny, opinionated, always right...blogging self tomorrow haha
xox
Check out my poor Nixon
I have never before seen a bird hiss and try to attack a dog before! Apparantly this is a swan and they do it quite often! My poor Nixon was lucky to escape. This bird was EVIL. It chased Nixon!
The road that i walk on is paved in gold
Wouldn't it be nice to go back to the 90's...when music was good. I LOVE this song...another of my favs. Just thought i would share it...since i have not had time to do a real rant today ...yet.
x
Everything will always be ok
I have complete and utter faith in the fact that everything will always be ok.
Inside out
This is one of my favourite ever songs. I woke up...but not for bad reasons. I had a giggle at these cartoons this guy has drawn.
Now i am going back to sleep xoxo
Nixon is cuddling me. I have fresh clean sheets. Well i did. haha
Heavy eyes...
Now i am going back to sleep xoxo
Nixon is cuddling me. I have fresh clean sheets. Well i did. haha
Heavy eyes...
October 27, 2009
How did my life get so full
literally overnight?
I have hardly sat down all day.
I have only JUST finished cleaning my pigsty of a pad. I have not even had a chance to eat all day...other than shoving the odd illicit cookie down my gob.
I was so embarrassed today when an old friend turned up here, 2 seconds after i walked back in the door from the court thing this morning. I had teenagers, and Nixon here for the past week and i could not keep the place clean, no matter how hard i tried.
I don't think anyone has ever seen my place that messy. There were even chippies from Jorgia eating in bed munched into the floor. haha She had fallen asleep last night while munching on them and dropped the bowl on the floor while it was still half full.
I'm still dying that someone saw my place like that but it was sooooo nice to see this mate of mine. I LOVE getting to catch up with people that have not seen me since i was a depressed mess. I love being happy around people, instead of so sad, like i always used to be. I love listening to what is going on in their lives...instead of needing their shoulders to cry on about mine.
I love every single one of the people that have supported me in their own little ways through the hard times that i have had...and i love them even more now that i can laugh with them again.
I am so damn lucky to have these people in my life.
Nixon and i have done our big long run. Our run takes us past a block of shops with some fast food outlets, Today, his choice of places to take his dump...was in the doorway of Pizza Hutt, as we walked past. I tried to drag him away, but that only caused him to leave a trail.
Thank you to the lovely boys at Pizza Hutt who laughed at how cute Nixon is and supplied me with plastic bags to collect his droppings. Lovely boys...haha
I have another busy day tomorrow. Dan the policeman is popping in for a visit in the morning. I think he is having some drama in his personal life or something, so i get to listen to him instead of vice versa tomorrow. That will be a nice change. I have to go to Crockers and see the letting agent guy and sign the thing regarding fridge payments...i have already started paying it off but have not signed the paper thingie .
I have my friend, Marcus, who i have known since 2003 flying up from Wellington to spend the weekend with me this weekend. I absolutely cannot wait to see him. The last time i saw him was a year ago, and i was so unhappy. For some reason,, this guy thinks the sun shines out of me...no matter what i do he is always there for me. I pick him up at the airport at 4pm on Friday and he goes back home Sunday night...i am going to have a very very busy weekend.
I will try not to have crunched up corn chips in the carpet and dog smelling beds ...just for a special treat for him. hahahaha
I need to eat some dinner. Maybe back later...maybe not. I might just crash.
xoxoxox
I have hardly sat down all day.
I have only JUST finished cleaning my pigsty of a pad. I have not even had a chance to eat all day...other than shoving the odd illicit cookie down my gob.
I was so embarrassed today when an old friend turned up here, 2 seconds after i walked back in the door from the court thing this morning. I had teenagers, and Nixon here for the past week and i could not keep the place clean, no matter how hard i tried.
I don't think anyone has ever seen my place that messy. There were even chippies from Jorgia eating in bed munched into the floor. haha She had fallen asleep last night while munching on them and dropped the bowl on the floor while it was still half full.
I'm still dying that someone saw my place like that but it was sooooo nice to see this mate of mine. I LOVE getting to catch up with people that have not seen me since i was a depressed mess. I love being happy around people, instead of so sad, like i always used to be. I love listening to what is going on in their lives...instead of needing their shoulders to cry on about mine.
I love every single one of the people that have supported me in their own little ways through the hard times that i have had...and i love them even more now that i can laugh with them again.
I am so damn lucky to have these people in my life.
Nixon and i have done our big long run. Our run takes us past a block of shops with some fast food outlets, Today, his choice of places to take his dump...was in the doorway of Pizza Hutt, as we walked past. I tried to drag him away, but that only caused him to leave a trail.
Thank you to the lovely boys at Pizza Hutt who laughed at how cute Nixon is and supplied me with plastic bags to collect his droppings. Lovely boys...haha
I have another busy day tomorrow. Dan the policeman is popping in for a visit in the morning. I think he is having some drama in his personal life or something, so i get to listen to him instead of vice versa tomorrow. That will be a nice change. I have to go to Crockers and see the letting agent guy and sign the thing regarding fridge payments...i have already started paying it off but have not signed the paper thingie .
I have my friend, Marcus, who i have known since 2003 flying up from Wellington to spend the weekend with me this weekend. I absolutely cannot wait to see him. The last time i saw him was a year ago, and i was so unhappy. For some reason,, this guy thinks the sun shines out of me...no matter what i do he is always there for me. I pick him up at the airport at 4pm on Friday and he goes back home Sunday night...i am going to have a very very busy weekend.
I will try not to have crunched up corn chips in the carpet and dog smelling beds ...just for a special treat for him. hahahaha
I need to eat some dinner. Maybe back later...maybe not. I might just crash.
xoxoxox
Time....
I used to have too much of it.
Now i don't know where it goes...i need more hours in my days.
Run time for my shadow and i.
I LOVE my life!
Now i don't know where it goes...i need more hours in my days.
Run time for my shadow and i.
I LOVE my life!
yessssssssssss
What a lovely afternoon.
I am off to take Nixon for his walk now. Right after i change the url of my blog.
Back later xoxo
I am off to take Nixon for his walk now. Right after i change the url of my blog.
Back later xoxo
Another mess of his
all cleaned up!
YAY for this friend of mine. The end result was fantastic, and it is all over for her now. I am so happy for her. The person that i dropped back home, was a much happier person than the one that i picked up.
Life is good.
I have lots to do. My place is a mess after a whole week of kids and the ex president messing it up. I am going to have cleaning time...the run with Nixon time...then i am going to actually enjoy some peace and quiet.
I am missing the girls, but dropping them back was not as sad as last time when i had to come back here and be lonely. I always have my little shadow here to give me love. The peace and quiet and chance to clean without the place getting messed up again straight away...is actually nice right now.
It is time change my name and my blog's url. It is time to start a new chapter in my life. I feel like i have done a full circle.
Back to my maiden name. The first person that calls me Sperming...like the boys in 4th form did...gets ....something really bad happening to them. Sperling is German. My Grandad was German-American.
My wedding rings are also now gone. Thank God for that.
YAY for this friend of mine. The end result was fantastic, and it is all over for her now. I am so happy for her. The person that i dropped back home, was a much happier person than the one that i picked up.
Life is good.
I have lots to do. My place is a mess after a whole week of kids and the ex president messing it up. I am going to have cleaning time...the run with Nixon time...then i am going to actually enjoy some peace and quiet.
I am missing the girls, but dropping them back was not as sad as last time when i had to come back here and be lonely. I always have my little shadow here to give me love. The peace and quiet and chance to clean without the place getting messed up again straight away...is actually nice right now.
It is time change my name and my blog's url. It is time to start a new chapter in my life. I feel like i have done a full circle.
Back to my maiden name. The first person that calls me Sperming...like the boys in 4th form did...gets ....something really bad happening to them. Sperling is German. My Grandad was German-American.
My wedding rings are also now gone. Thank God for that.
i just got hugged
By Nick's mum, my ex mother in law that i have put through so much, just hugged me with tears in her eyes. I never thought i would be strong enough to face anyone from that family again, knowing that they all knew about my life. I hugged her back, hard, and told her what a good man her son is. I am so emotional right now.. I just faced another person that i knew i would have to face one day. I will never not recognise when i have good people in my life again. I will never not appreciate good people ever again.
October 26, 2009
I can't believe how fast this weekend went
I am in bed now...Jorgia was here a minute ago because she is sleeping with me tonight and Nixon was down on the floor beside my bed. Jorgia was a bit silly, and jumped out of bed to go find her cell phone and guess who swiftly moved in on her space in bed?
You snooze you lose JP! Nixon just took your spot!haha
I cannot express in words how good it feels to have Nixon back. Ok Jorgia is back in bed now too...so Nixon is in the middle of us...lying on his back all spread out getting his tummy rubbed by two gorgeous females. It's a good life for Nixon tonight.
Dogs are amazing. I have always been a dog person, as opposed to a cat person. I wanted a cocker spaniel because i had one when i was a kid. I got one for my tenth birthday. That was when my parents separated. Her name was Beatrice and she died only a few days after my birthday, of distemper. I can still remember waking up one morning and finding her so sick, dad taking her to the vet and her never coming back. I had always wanted another cocker spaniel, and have never forgotten little Beatrice.
Nixon loves me so much. He loves Jorgia and Nicole too but he loves me the MOST haha...i had to say that because Jorgia is lying here reading this as i type ...haha He is always with me now. He follows me everywhere. It is an unconditional love, the love that dogs have for their owners. That is what makes dogs so amazing.
Humans could learn a thing or two from dogs.
Anyway...on that note, I am off to try to get some sleep in this crowded bed of mine tonight. I think it is definitely sheet washing day tomorrow, and that has absolutely nothing to do with my prime going to waste. It is all about my bed smelling like dog! Despite that smell...i have not had one bad night's sleep since i have had Nixon back.
I have to be up early tomorrow...Night you lot xoxo
You snooze you lose JP! Nixon just took your spot!haha
I cannot express in words how good it feels to have Nixon back. Ok Jorgia is back in bed now too...so Nixon is in the middle of us...lying on his back all spread out getting his tummy rubbed by two gorgeous females. It's a good life for Nixon tonight.
Dogs are amazing. I have always been a dog person, as opposed to a cat person. I wanted a cocker spaniel because i had one when i was a kid. I got one for my tenth birthday. That was when my parents separated. Her name was Beatrice and she died only a few days after my birthday, of distemper. I can still remember waking up one morning and finding her so sick, dad taking her to the vet and her never coming back. I had always wanted another cocker spaniel, and have never forgotten little Beatrice.
Nixon loves me so much. He loves Jorgia and Nicole too but he loves me the MOST haha...i had to say that because Jorgia is lying here reading this as i type ...haha He is always with me now. He follows me everywhere. It is an unconditional love, the love that dogs have for their owners. That is what makes dogs so amazing.
Humans could learn a thing or two from dogs.
Anyway...on that note, I am off to try to get some sleep in this crowded bed of mine tonight. I think it is definitely sheet washing day tomorrow, and that has absolutely nothing to do with my prime going to waste. It is all about my bed smelling like dog! Despite that smell...i have not had one bad night's sleep since i have had Nixon back.
I have to be up early tomorrow...Night you lot xoxo
Nicole just made me laugh so hard
What do you call a black man, flying an airplane?
A pilot, you racist.
hahahhahahaha
A pilot, you racist.
hahahhahahaha
Time has not been kind to Morrissey!
The object of my teenage desires...
British singer Morrissey was in a stable condition after collapsing on stage with breathing problems, a hospital said on Sunday.
The 50-year-old former frontman of 1980s pop band The Smiths fell ill just one song into his concert on Saturday at the Oasis Leisure Centre in Swindon, southwest England.
Morrissey's knees buckled and he slumped to the floor as he came to the end of opening song This Charming Man, The Smiths' 1983 breakthrough hit, The Daily Telegraph newspaper's website said. He was then dragged offstage.
"Just after 9pm we got a call to a 50-year-old man who was reported to be suffering from respiratory problems and was unconscious," said a spokeswoman for the Great Western Ambulance Service.
"We sent a paramedic in a doubled-crewed ambulance.
"When they arrived they found a conscious patient who was not feeling well at all. They made an initial assessment and took him to the Great Western Hospital (in Swindon) for further assessment."
His condition was not thought to be life threatening, she added.
"The stage went dark and he was taken off the stage and then his band all left the stage," The Daily Telegraph's website quoted 40-year-old eyewitness Mark Taylor as saying.
"There was a wait of about 25 minutes before one of the stage crew came on and said Morrissey had left the building, and that he was seriously ill.
"Everybody started booing, thinking 'here we go again'. He has a bit of a poor track record for cancelling his concerts."
The Mancunian singer has been touring North America and Europe since releasing his ninth solo album, Years of Refusal, in February.
He has cancelled several concerts during the tour, including dates in Florida, North Carolina, California, Britain and France.
"Morrissey was brought in to the Accident and Emergency department," said a Great Western Hospital spokeswoman.
"He has been seen by the medical team. At this stage his condition is stable."
Not the object of my pushing 40 desires!
October 25, 2009
Right now the thing that i am MOST grateful for...
Is that there are two closed doors between Nixon and I and the teenage girls in my living room. haha They are actually very good. They will occupy themselves for the next 24 hours and Nixon and i will get to do our own thing.
I'm a bit concerned though. See, Dan told me that there is a house up at the top of my street that is a private brothel...and that there is something dodgy going on up there. I have often wondered if there was a crack house or something around that area because there always seemed to be lots of cars around with people just sitting and waiting in them. I guess, now, i know how to recognise suspicious behaviour, like i never have before. To most people there would be nothing odd about two guys sitting in a car on the side of the road ...just waiting. To me that screams out drug deal...
Crackheads never want to meet new people, and never want anyone to know where they live. If you go somewhere to buy crack, and you have friends with you...it is quite normal to have to leave those friends in the car waiting for an extended period of time, having left them far enough down the street for them not to be able to tell which house you went in to.
There are ALWAYS cars with people waiting in them ....dodgy looking people...in my street. I was not surprised to hear that this particular house in my street is a brothel. I have been keeping an eye out for Dan when i go for my walks etc for a particular thing...it's handy having Nixon now for walks too....because no matter what you look like or who you are, a crackhead waiting in a car for his friend to do a deal will always think anyone walking past ...is a cop. Having a dog to walk makes my inspector gadget status, less obvious.
Anyway...that is not the concern. I have decided that i should not have pointed this house out to the girls and told them what it was. They talk about it, and look in there every time we drive past, and now Jorgia's friends are going to go home, having learned a new word. Oh dear. Jorgia took great care to explain exactly what a brothel is to her friends...oh my.
We stopped at the supermarket to do some treat shopping for the girls and had to leave Nixon in the car for a few minutes. That is the first time i have left him in the car alone. Someone told me that dogs have no sense of time...5 minutes is the same as a million years to him. I hated leaving him in the car. I felt like he would be scared that he was going back to his previous life of spending 16 hours a day in the car.
He seems OK though. He is crashed out at the bottom of my bed. I wonder where his name tag that i had gotten engraved with his name is. I love Nixon so much. It feels so good to have been able to just spend the weekend with my kids and Nixon.
I am going to make pizzas for the girls, then bake my world famous chocolate chip cookies, and then hopefully have an early night. I am buggered. Next weekend, I have my friend Marcus, up staying with me from Wellington. It's been nearly a year since i have seen him. I was miserable when i saw him last...i can't wait for him to see me happy again.
Right...pizza time.
I'm a bit concerned though. See, Dan told me that there is a house up at the top of my street that is a private brothel...and that there is something dodgy going on up there. I have often wondered if there was a crack house or something around that area because there always seemed to be lots of cars around with people just sitting and waiting in them. I guess, now, i know how to recognise suspicious behaviour, like i never have before. To most people there would be nothing odd about two guys sitting in a car on the side of the road ...just waiting. To me that screams out drug deal...
Crackheads never want to meet new people, and never want anyone to know where they live. If you go somewhere to buy crack, and you have friends with you...it is quite normal to have to leave those friends in the car waiting for an extended period of time, having left them far enough down the street for them not to be able to tell which house you went in to.
There are ALWAYS cars with people waiting in them ....dodgy looking people...in my street. I was not surprised to hear that this particular house in my street is a brothel. I have been keeping an eye out for Dan when i go for my walks etc for a particular thing...it's handy having Nixon now for walks too....because no matter what you look like or who you are, a crackhead waiting in a car for his friend to do a deal will always think anyone walking past ...is a cop. Having a dog to walk makes my inspector gadget status, less obvious.
Anyway...that is not the concern. I have decided that i should not have pointed this house out to the girls and told them what it was. They talk about it, and look in there every time we drive past, and now Jorgia's friends are going to go home, having learned a new word. Oh dear. Jorgia took great care to explain exactly what a brothel is to her friends...oh my.
We stopped at the supermarket to do some treat shopping for the girls and had to leave Nixon in the car for a few minutes. That is the first time i have left him in the car alone. Someone told me that dogs have no sense of time...5 minutes is the same as a million years to him. I hated leaving him in the car. I felt like he would be scared that he was going back to his previous life of spending 16 hours a day in the car.
He seems OK though. He is crashed out at the bottom of my bed. I wonder where his name tag that i had gotten engraved with his name is. I love Nixon so much. It feels so good to have been able to just spend the weekend with my kids and Nixon.
I am going to make pizzas for the girls, then bake my world famous chocolate chip cookies, and then hopefully have an early night. I am buggered. Next weekend, I have my friend Marcus, up staying with me from Wellington. It's been nearly a year since i have seen him. I was miserable when i saw him last...i can't wait for him to see me happy again.
Right...pizza time.
Be careful what you wish for...
I am about to head out to Howick, to pick up two of Jorgia's friends. I agreed to let her have a bit of a slumber party tonight. She is having two friends stay the night in order to have a " Saw" movie watching marathon...
I have been up since 6am...took Nixon for his morning business, then the two of us went back to sleep for a couple of hours. We emerged from bed again, at about 11am...hand washed laundry and hung it out, showered, did our 7k run...my legs are almost feeling like they have not been run over a million times now.
Nixon and i just got back from our run, had time to make a sandwich and he had a huge drink, and now we are back out the door to head to Howick to pick up Jorgias friends.
Tonight my little 2 bedroom pad, will consist of 4 teenage girls, one ex president, and me.
What's lonely? I can't remember.
I have been up since 6am...took Nixon for his morning business, then the two of us went back to sleep for a couple of hours. We emerged from bed again, at about 11am...hand washed laundry and hung it out, showered, did our 7k run...my legs are almost feeling like they have not been run over a million times now.
Nixon and i just got back from our run, had time to make a sandwich and he had a huge drink, and now we are back out the door to head to Howick to pick up Jorgias friends.
Tonight my little 2 bedroom pad, will consist of 4 teenage girls, one ex president, and me.
What's lonely? I can't remember.
My SECOND favourite SS daily attachment
hahahaha I was not quite as crazy, as he was stupid. I got close though! hahaha
"Tsk, tsk - trying to gatecrash the boys drinks ! If we allowed that we'd
have to invent some intelligent conversation !
XOX "
SS
You have no choice but to invite me to the boy's drinks this time. If you don't ...i will stalk you. I am a good stalker. haha...by the way SS...have i mentioned how lovely, someone that i met this week is? I can feel my cupid wings fluttering again. No pressure or anything but i am totally going to try to set you two up hahahhaa
Richard Nixon - Watergate scandal
Watergate scandal - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This my friends, is how my Nixon got his name. Danny could never explain to anyone why my dog, had such an unusual name. Nixon is called Nixon, after President Richard Nixon. When Richard Nixon resigned as President of the United States of America, after the Watergate Scandal, in 1974...i remember as a 4 year old my Dad saying " Richard Nixon has not done anything that any president before him has not done, or any president after him will do...the only difference is, he was stupid enough to get caught."
Isn't it funny...the things that we remember. Why would a 4 year old remember her father's conversation about politics...her whole life? I guess my interest in politics began when i eavesdropped on my dad's conversation...35 years ago.
I applied this same logic to my mischievous little ball of fur, that has grown in to the most gorgeous, and loving dog in the world. No one can resist my Nixon. I love him so much. Everyone that lays eyes on him, loves him.
I had a car full of hot guys, that live across the road from me, beep and wave and be silly at me yesterday, while i was walking Nixon. I am not sure if the attention was directed at me...or at Nixon hahaha. He is definitely a hot guy/babe magnet. I now see why Danny wanted him. (other than just to spite me)
Poor Nixon. If he is not sleeping with me, he is sleeping on the floor by my bed, just exactly the same way he used to in Waiuku. Jorgia slept with me last night, so he had the floor by my nightstand. I fell asleep while watching a documentary on my laptop...and at some stage during the night poor Nixon got a laptop on his head. The bloody thing fell out of bed and landed on Nixon.
I'm not sure if i should feel bad for Nixon, or grateful that he broke the laptop's fall. ha
This my friends, is how my Nixon got his name. Danny could never explain to anyone why my dog, had such an unusual name. Nixon is called Nixon, after President Richard Nixon. When Richard Nixon resigned as President of the United States of America, after the Watergate Scandal, in 1974...i remember as a 4 year old my Dad saying " Richard Nixon has not done anything that any president before him has not done, or any president after him will do...the only difference is, he was stupid enough to get caught."
Isn't it funny...the things that we remember. Why would a 4 year old remember her father's conversation about politics...her whole life? I guess my interest in politics began when i eavesdropped on my dad's conversation...35 years ago.
I applied this same logic to my mischievous little ball of fur, that has grown in to the most gorgeous, and loving dog in the world. No one can resist my Nixon. I love him so much. Everyone that lays eyes on him, loves him.
I had a car full of hot guys, that live across the road from me, beep and wave and be silly at me yesterday, while i was walking Nixon. I am not sure if the attention was directed at me...or at Nixon hahaha. He is definitely a hot guy/babe magnet. I now see why Danny wanted him. (other than just to spite me)
Poor Nixon. If he is not sleeping with me, he is sleeping on the floor by my bed, just exactly the same way he used to in Waiuku. Jorgia slept with me last night, so he had the floor by my nightstand. I fell asleep while watching a documentary on my laptop...and at some stage during the night poor Nixon got a laptop on his head. The bloody thing fell out of bed and landed on Nixon.
I'm not sure if i should feel bad for Nixon, or grateful that he broke the laptop's fall. ha
October 24, 2009
Laughter is ...
Yahoo!Xtra Mind Body Soul Mind & Attitude:
"You know the end of that sentence, right? Yes, 'the best medicine'. But you may not have placed too much belief in the statement.
While scientific research is not big on the area of humour and wellness, we did find a few interesting comments, which are worth a thought:
• Laughter helps relieve the symptoms of stress because a good session of hearty laughter activates the release of endorphins from the brain – giving a nice boost to your mood.
• Adults laugh on average only 15 times per day while kids enjoy a giggle up to 400 times per day!
• 'Laughter is the shortest distance between two people' V. Borge
• A professor from UCLA School of Medicine, Norman Cousins, calls laughter 'inner jogging'. That is because when we are engaged in a good, hearty laugh, every system in our body gets a workout.
None of us is perfect. Most of our situations are far from ideal. One of the most compassionate things we can do for ourselves is not to take those imperfections too seriously. When we can find some humour in our losses, in those things that we push away, and in those bent nails and splintered pieces, then we are, as clinical psychologist Walter O'Connell points out, 'honouring our imperfections and chipped edges'. When we can laugh through our tears, we are being given a powerful message. Things may be bad, but they cannot be all that bad."
"You know the end of that sentence, right? Yes, 'the best medicine'. But you may not have placed too much belief in the statement.
While scientific research is not big on the area of humour and wellness, we did find a few interesting comments, which are worth a thought:
• Laughter helps relieve the symptoms of stress because a good session of hearty laughter activates the release of endorphins from the brain – giving a nice boost to your mood.
• Adults laugh on average only 15 times per day while kids enjoy a giggle up to 400 times per day!
• 'Laughter is the shortest distance between two people' V. Borge
• A professor from UCLA School of Medicine, Norman Cousins, calls laughter 'inner jogging'. That is because when we are engaged in a good, hearty laugh, every system in our body gets a workout.
None of us is perfect. Most of our situations are far from ideal. One of the most compassionate things we can do for ourselves is not to take those imperfections too seriously. When we can find some humour in our losses, in those things that we push away, and in those bent nails and splintered pieces, then we are, as clinical psychologist Walter O'Connell points out, 'honouring our imperfections and chipped edges'. When we can laugh through our tears, we are being given a powerful message. Things may be bad, but they cannot be all that bad."
Old Friends
Not long ago, i remember commenting on how bad things happened to me every day . Every day i would face those things and i felt that they made me stronger. They did make me stronger. Not long ago, every person that i ran into, was someone bad from the past. It was always someone that i knew from that life of drugs, and i felt that i kept running into those people because i was being tested. I needed to be able to see those people and not be scared or tempted to go back to that life. Never once have i been tempted. The only thing that seeing those people ever did was make me shake my head at the fact that not long ago...i was one of them. It made me realise more than ever that i would never feel the slightest temptation to go back.
This week, things started changing. I have made new friends. I will never have to worry about them being a negative influence on my life. I will never have to worry, if i can be around these people and be strong enough to stay on the positive track that i am on. One person in particular has helped me move so far along that positive track this week that i will be forever indebted to her. I will be her friend for life, and will do anything to help her the way she has helped me.
Unbelievably...today, i also ran into an old, old, OLD friend. A woman that i had been friends with since our daughters attended Children's World in Botany Road together. I have known her since Nick and i were married. I can remember Nick and I watching NZ win the America's Cup Yacht racing all summer with this woman and her husband...we moved the TV in to ranch slider space in the living room of whoever's house we happened to be at that summer, and drank Lindauer and beers in the sun on our decks, that whole summer...while we watched the yacht racing. Nick and I always hung out with them.
I have known her over ten years. I had not had any contact with her in the last few years, because she was just another friend that i didn't want to see, because i felt so stupid...getting married again and professing this undying love, and how much he was my soul mate...to only have it all go to shit only a year after we got married. It was, and still is embarrassing for me, to have made such a huge mistake. To have been conned so badly.
Jorgia and I took Nixon for a walk along Eastern Beach. Nixon loves the water. I saw this lady and her friend laughing at how cute Nixon was...when i looked closer i realised it was my friend Caroline.
For some reason, i was not embarrassed about what has happened in the last few years when i saw her sitting on the beach laughing at Nixon...not realising who his owner was. When i got closer she recognised me...we hugged for so long. I told her everything. I sat on the beach with her and told her everything that i have been through over the past few years...i had no reason to be embarrassed with Caroline. I could see sadness in her own face and i listened when she told me she has been through similar experiences...not drugs or hookers...but the hurt, anger, regret, and disappointment at a relationship break up that has set her back so far that she is now back living at home with her parents, with her children.
It was so good to see Caroline. We swapped phone numbers and promised to catch up again really soon. I am going to make sure that we do.
I now have people from my past coming back into my life that i need back in my life, because i need real friends.
It's crazy mental, how much things can change in a week. Look at the struggle that i was having this time last weekend, and look at me now.
I love life. Not just my life...life in general.
I hope that G has a fantastic time at her daughter's 21st today. Happy birthday to her! I am not going to take the risk of coming to it G...Only because of the bail conditions though babe. Otherwise i would be there for you with bells on. I just don't want to risk ever popping up on Jame's computer again. I promised him after fridgegate...that i wouldn't...ever ....again.
I know how much planning has gone into this night by you. I remember you sitting on my couch back in March planning it. I hope it is an awesome night and everything you dreamed it would be...and i want to see photos! Especially of the present!
xoxoxoxoxo
He does not take a dump in 4 days
Then when he finally does his business he chooses to do it in the middle of the foot path at mission bay on a beautiful summer day. Oh my god i just had to pick it up ha ha ha nothing changes when it comes to nixon's toilet habits.
The girls totally pretended like they were not with me....while i was scooping up Nixon's poos.
The girls totally pretended like they were not with me....while i was scooping up Nixon's poos.
hahaha
Jorgia just got off the phone with her Dad...
Nick laughed so hard when he heard about how this week's events unfolded, since he received a tearful phone call from me on Tuesday, asking if i could have the girls, even though it was not my night.
Jorgia yelled out to me..."Dad says you need to write a book"
If i had a dollar for everytime i have been told that i need to write a book...i would have $257.00
haha
We are off to Mission Bay with Nixon now, for ice creams and a huge walk. I had to bribe the girls with ice creams to get them to come with me. We are all just waiting for Nicole the supermodel to finish her hair and her make up.
Oh my gosh i am so glad that i am not missing out on watching these beautiful girls grow up.
If you are inside, reading this, and in Auckland...you so need to get your lazy ass outside in this sunshine! STAT.
Jorgia yelled out to me..."Dad says you need to write a book"
If i had a dollar for everytime i have been told that i need to write a book...i would have $257.00
haha
We are off to Mission Bay with Nixon now, for ice creams and a huge walk. I had to bribe the girls with ice creams to get them to come with me. We are all just waiting for Nicole the supermodel to finish her hair and her make up.
Oh my gosh i am so glad that i am not missing out on watching these beautiful girls grow up.
If you are inside, reading this, and in Auckland...you so need to get your lazy ass outside in this sunshine! STAT.
Mission Accomplished
Just got this from the Secret Squirrel
"As if the emails would stop, just happy that I can apply a little more of my
twisted humour amongst the motivational ones !"
XOX
SS
I had only one photo of Nixon...
This was it...Danny had all my other photos of him on discs.
I am making up for lost photo taking time!
10 tonnes cocaine found in submarine off Guatemala - Yahoo!Xtra News
10 tonnes cocaine found in submarine off Guatemala - Yahoo!Xtra News
Holy shit. I wonder what the street value of that would be in American dollars. The article does not say. It does say that the war on drugs that they have going on in Columbia at the moment has cost 14,500 lives in the past two years, or something crazy like that. I can only imagine that it is about to cost a couple more, after that bust!
Yikes.
Holy shit. I wonder what the street value of that would be in American dollars. The article does not say. It does say that the war on drugs that they have going on in Columbia at the moment has cost 14,500 lives in the past two years, or something crazy like that. I can only imagine that it is about to cost a couple more, after that bust!
Yikes.
October 23, 2009
The long weekend...
The last long weekend, was Queen's Birthday weekend .I was so relieved when it was over, and that i did not have to face another long, holiday weekend until the end of October. I hated weekends back then, but long weekends were the worst. Poor Dan the policeman, would always cop it at dusk on Friday nights. All weekend every weekend i would sit alone in that apartment with the curtains closed, and think about what other people were doing. Long weekends were worse...not only was it an extra day to be miserable...it was hard knowing that most people get to leave Auckland with friends or family and have fun.
I felt so left behind, left out, lonely, and like the whole world was just carrying on without me. Which it was.
I never in a million years would have believed that by the next long weekend, i would be so happy again, and feel so normal again. I would not have believed that i would no longer be consumed with grief, and hurt. I definitely did not think that i would no longer be at that apartment in Mt Eden or on drugs. I would have thought you were mental if you had told me that i would no longer love the person that i loved so much, at the time. I never would have believed how fantastic the relationship that i would have with my children would be by now...as well as my relationship with Nick, their dad.
I can't believe everything that has changed since Queen's Birthday weekend. I am even on the road to getting myself a life, and making some friends. I have my Nixon back. This long Labour Weekend, will be full of fun with my girls, and running around with Nixon. I am sooo happy that it is a long weekend because that means an extra day before the kids go back to Nick. My whole life has changed.
I am so tired right now. My day started at 6 with Nixon's run/wee time. Then i dropped the girls at school. I stopped in to check on a friend that has been feeling crappy. Had a coffee and a smoke with her...then home to hand wash all my laundry, including my white duvet cover. haha that was covered in mud/brown Nixon hair. Got that out, and my bed looks lovely again, and has a dark brown throw rug, covering my lovely linen, so that does not happen again.
I got all my work done around the house...had a break and played on here for a little while, then Nixon and i headed out for a walk. This time we walked along the beach, and he got to have a swim. He absolutely loved it. He got sand all though my car though so it's time for a trip to Wash World for a vacuum, before my car starts looking like shit.
I thought about everything, while Nixon and i were running along the beach. I look back now and i can not think of anything worse than hiding in that apartment, with the curtains closed, only going out at night, and only associating with people that i mostly could not stand. Hiding in that apartment and parking my car elsewhere, so that people like the snowman would think i was not home.
I ran along the beach with Nixon and i realised just how good life is and how lucky i am. I can't believe i missed out on all of this for nearly a year of my life, and spent nearly 3 years so miserable.
I had to get to Jorgia's school early, and park a little ways away so that i could walk to her school, with Nixon to meet her. She wanted to show him off to her friends. Her friend Melissa, has known Nixon since he was a little puppy as well. She could not believe how much fur he has now...she could not believe that we had already given him a bit of a trim last night.
I dropped Melissa off at her place...then grabbed Nicole, and headed home. We drove through Highland Park at 3:30 and someone was already at the pub for the weekend. haha tragic. Stopped to do a food shop...and now we are home.
My legs are too sore for me to move off my couch. Nixon is passed out at my feet. He has not shown one sign of missing anyone from his life of sitting in the Daewoo. He won't leave my side. Someone told me today that dog's always remember people's smells. Maybe he did remember me straight away. I know for sure he remembered Jorgia. She used to play with him heaps though. I was a different person when we lived in Waiuku and while i always loved Nixon...i didn't make enough time for him back then like i should have. I had other things...like fixing my marriage on my mind.
I am making up for that now, but my legs are hating me for it. I am going to have a wonderful sleep tonight. All that fresh air and exercise. I have hardly had a chance to sit down all day. Now Jorgia wants me to teach her how to make my Cajun Chicken Salad, so that she can make it for Nick and Kristine, when it is her turn to cook. They all take turns cooking when at Nick's place.
I am too tired for cooking right now. I am going to have a nap...late dinner for us tonight, after i have had a rest.
I got a funny text from a mate today, saying how pleased he is to know he never has to encourage me to get my skinny ass out of bed again haha
I laughed at that...but right now Nixon and i are back in bed...crashingggggg at least for an hour or two. I think we wore each other out today. I love it.
YAY for long weekends. I hope the weather stays this nice. I hope my legs stop aching.
I love my life...x
I felt so left behind, left out, lonely, and like the whole world was just carrying on without me. Which it was.
I never in a million years would have believed that by the next long weekend, i would be so happy again, and feel so normal again. I would not have believed that i would no longer be consumed with grief, and hurt. I definitely did not think that i would no longer be at that apartment in Mt Eden or on drugs. I would have thought you were mental if you had told me that i would no longer love the person that i loved so much, at the time. I never would have believed how fantastic the relationship that i would have with my children would be by now...as well as my relationship with Nick, their dad.
I can't believe everything that has changed since Queen's Birthday weekend. I am even on the road to getting myself a life, and making some friends. I have my Nixon back. This long Labour Weekend, will be full of fun with my girls, and running around with Nixon. I am sooo happy that it is a long weekend because that means an extra day before the kids go back to Nick. My whole life has changed.
I am so tired right now. My day started at 6 with Nixon's run/wee time. Then i dropped the girls at school. I stopped in to check on a friend that has been feeling crappy. Had a coffee and a smoke with her...then home to hand wash all my laundry, including my white duvet cover. haha that was covered in mud/brown Nixon hair. Got that out, and my bed looks lovely again, and has a dark brown throw rug, covering my lovely linen, so that does not happen again.
I got all my work done around the house...had a break and played on here for a little while, then Nixon and i headed out for a walk. This time we walked along the beach, and he got to have a swim. He absolutely loved it. He got sand all though my car though so it's time for a trip to Wash World for a vacuum, before my car starts looking like shit.
I thought about everything, while Nixon and i were running along the beach. I look back now and i can not think of anything worse than hiding in that apartment, with the curtains closed, only going out at night, and only associating with people that i mostly could not stand. Hiding in that apartment and parking my car elsewhere, so that people like the snowman would think i was not home.
I ran along the beach with Nixon and i realised just how good life is and how lucky i am. I can't believe i missed out on all of this for nearly a year of my life, and spent nearly 3 years so miserable.
I had to get to Jorgia's school early, and park a little ways away so that i could walk to her school, with Nixon to meet her. She wanted to show him off to her friends. Her friend Melissa, has known Nixon since he was a little puppy as well. She could not believe how much fur he has now...she could not believe that we had already given him a bit of a trim last night.
I dropped Melissa off at her place...then grabbed Nicole, and headed home. We drove through Highland Park at 3:30 and someone was already at the pub for the weekend. haha tragic. Stopped to do a food shop...and now we are home.
My legs are too sore for me to move off my couch. Nixon is passed out at my feet. He has not shown one sign of missing anyone from his life of sitting in the Daewoo. He won't leave my side. Someone told me today that dog's always remember people's smells. Maybe he did remember me straight away. I know for sure he remembered Jorgia. She used to play with him heaps though. I was a different person when we lived in Waiuku and while i always loved Nixon...i didn't make enough time for him back then like i should have. I had other things...like fixing my marriage on my mind.
I am making up for that now, but my legs are hating me for it. I am going to have a wonderful sleep tonight. All that fresh air and exercise. I have hardly had a chance to sit down all day. Now Jorgia wants me to teach her how to make my Cajun Chicken Salad, so that she can make it for Nick and Kristine, when it is her turn to cook. They all take turns cooking when at Nick's place.
I am too tired for cooking right now. I am going to have a nap...late dinner for us tonight, after i have had a rest.
I got a funny text from a mate today, saying how pleased he is to know he never has to encourage me to get my skinny ass out of bed again haha
I laughed at that...but right now Nixon and i are back in bed...crashingggggg at least for an hour or two. I think we wore each other out today. I love it.
YAY for long weekends. I hope the weather stays this nice. I hope my legs stop aching.
I love my life...x
Blow on the Pie
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/index.php?cl=16233070
hahaha i love the South Park bit...
Isn't Paul Henry so lovely? I should make him husband number 3 huh? ha
hahaha i love the South Park bit...
Isn't Paul Henry so lovely? I should make him husband number 3 huh? ha
Love DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
PS...i still love you though SS...and my bed, even though like you say...now that i can finally sleep, I have to share it with a hairy, smelly, freight train hahah. I love it. It's exactly like being married to someone who's name will no longer appear in my blog, except Nixon is honest and faithful. hahahah
PS...i still love you though SS...and my bed, even though like you say...now that i can finally sleep, I have to share it with a hairy, smelly, freight train hahah. I love it. It's exactly like being married to someone who's name will no longer appear in my blog, except Nixon is honest and faithful. hahahah
My days of sleeping in are all but over...
Nixon needs his 6am run everyday. This is obvious, by the way he gets so excited when i get up to go to the bathroom, with every intention of crawling back under my covers. I barely have time to put the jug on before we are out the door. This morning my legs feel like they have been run over by a very big car...and then the person that ran them over...backed up and went over them again, and again, and again.
I am never going to have to worry about my fitness or figure again. I am never going to require emails and texts to motivate me to get outside and go for my walk again. I have already done it this morning even though my muscles are so sore from running, instead of walking, that i felt like my legs could break in to pieces at any moment, the whole time we were running.
He also received a 20 minute belly rub while still in bed. He must be feeling like he has died and gone to doggy heaven. I am loving all the affection he gives. My only regret, is that my duvet is white. haha That's all good though.
I have not felt sad. not even once, since i have had Nixon back.
I feel so good today. My life is so wonderful now.
Back later...i did not realise that it was a long weekend so i get the girls til Tuesday! A whole week...and we have Outrageous Fortune season 5!!!! Van no longer reminds me of Danny. Van is a bit rough and stupid at times, but he has a good heart.
Off to Howick....Auckland traffic...yayyyyyyyyyy.
I am never going to have to worry about my fitness or figure again. I am never going to require emails and texts to motivate me to get outside and go for my walk again. I have already done it this morning even though my muscles are so sore from running, instead of walking, that i felt like my legs could break in to pieces at any moment, the whole time we were running.
He also received a 20 minute belly rub while still in bed. He must be feeling like he has died and gone to doggy heaven. I am loving all the affection he gives. My only regret, is that my duvet is white. haha That's all good though.
I have not felt sad. not even once, since i have had Nixon back.
I feel so good today. My life is so wonderful now.
Back later...i did not realise that it was a long weekend so i get the girls til Tuesday! A whole week...and we have Outrageous Fortune season 5!!!! Van no longer reminds me of Danny. Van is a bit rough and stupid at times, but he has a good heart.
Off to Howick....Auckland traffic...yayyyyyyyyyy.
October 22, 2009
I just went to town
as you were....hahaha I have needed that for awhile i think.
It feels so good to have my Nixon back. He is like my shadow...he loves me. It's like he has never been gone. I have the only thing that i needed to have returned to me.
I love my life.
It feels so good to have my Nixon back. He is like my shadow...he loves me. It's like he has never been gone. I have the only thing that i needed to have returned to me.
I love my life.
I lied
I will read them. He does not scare me anymore.
It is my walk time...aka be dragged along by Nixon for 7 ks time haha...he is so out of shape that i worry about him.
Back soon. He is going to the groomers and vet this week tooooo ... he is the coolest dog in the world.
It is my walk time...aka be dragged along by Nixon for 7 ks time haha...he is so out of shape that i worry about him.
Back soon. He is going to the groomers and vet this week tooooo ... he is the coolest dog in the world.
He remembers me...
He is following me everwhere again just like he used to. His morning pee took me for a run all the way to the top of the road and back in my jammies haha ...Nicole just made me laugh...she said "i wish we could have seen the look on Danny's face when he came out of the pub" haha
Back later! I will pop in and visit a friend and make sure she is all good on my way back so will be awhile. No need to text today if i am not around on the net! I'm all GOOD!
xoxooxxo ( i had a hundred texts from worried people yesterday making sure i was ok cause i was not here) haha I love my life.
Back later! I will pop in and visit a friend and make sure she is all good on my way back so will be awhile. No need to text today if i am not around on the net! I'm all GOOD!
xoxooxxo ( i had a hundred texts from worried people yesterday making sure i was ok cause i was not here) haha I love my life.
Next...
I love you SS...thank you for being here for me with your words of wisdom, throughout the terrible time of my life, that i am now putting behind me. x
October 21, 2009
Tired Nixon
Nixon and i just walked....(he walked me) our 7 ks. I think that is twice as much exercise as he has had all year. He stopped and chucked up his dinner half way through the run...he is still panting a half hour after being home. He drank two bowls of water and is now crashed out at my feet.
It was funny...i don't think he remembered me straight away but he totally knew Jorgia. She used to play with him tons.
I am so damn happy right now.
You have no idea.
Welcome Home Nixon!!!!
I no longer miss my beloved Nixon.
Walk time for Nixon and I. Then bath and trim time for Nixon.
I LOVE MY LIFE...no one has to miss Nixon anymore. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
October 20, 2009
Man who kept girlfriend's body on ice to come home - Yahoo!Xtra News
Man who kept girlfriend's body on ice to come home - Yahoo!Xtra News
What the hell? This guy got 6 months in jail in the states for getting caught with 54 grams of cocaine in dozens of little bags ( so he was supplying) and a dead body in his hotel room...let that be a lesson to all the drug dealing dead body keepers in Newport Beach! It's just not worth the risk!
What the hell? This guy got 6 months in jail in the states for getting caught with 54 grams of cocaine in dozens of little bags ( so he was supplying) and a dead body in his hotel room...let that be a lesson to all the drug dealing dead body keepers in Newport Beach! It's just not worth the risk!
I get by with a little help from my friends
Today, i have taken what could have been a miserable, lonely, sad, and destructive day...and thanks to a little help from my friends, i have had a wonderful, absolutely fantastic day, and i am feeling happier than i have since last Friday when that weird feeling that i should be sad.
I have my angels back here with me. I told them about stuff that has been going on in my little world over the last few days. "What a Jerk" is all the reaction i got...then Nicole let out the biggest burp that i have ever heard from such a dainty lady....yeah right, and Jorgia asked whether or not I had bought season 5 of Outrageous Fortune yet...Isn't childhood a wonderful thing? I would love to go back to being that carefree.
During my drive through Howick, i could not help but notice the inorganic rubbish that was all over the road. That brought about hilarious mental images of G, dressed to kill and in high heels, picking through the rubbish with her friend in broad daylight on Sunday afternoon...hahaha Apparently they scored heaps of stuff...i considered stopping for a look but the girls would not let me. I don't really need any more stuff for this place anyway. It's full to the brim of all the nice things that i used to be able to afford to purchase. Lucky i did it back then.
This morning i got spoiled by a close friend that is always always there for me and who's friendship means the world to me, with a visit and a big shoulder to cry on. Which i made good use of. He had asked me a question about how i felt about something ,and i when i answered him...i think he felt like ringing up the airline and booking my ticket out of here for me. haha
I will never leave NZ...not without my girls, not at least until they are older. If they make their home in NZ , they can at least travel to see me etc. One day hopefully, i will be back in Boise, Idaho with my sister Tracey and brother in law Tim...both who i adore, and are a continual source of strength for me...but right now i need to be here with my girls. They, and Billy, literally are my life.
How times have changed. Had i been upset like i have been over the past few days, 4 months ago...i would have avoided the world and reached for the pipe. Today, the first thing i thought about was getting my kids.
It was also lovely to see Dan. It had been a month. I have missed him lately. I successfully managed to use him well and good. I even gave him a free get out of jail card for the next time that i get angry at him haha. I needed him today. Just like i needed him when i was a crackhead. I guess we each serve a purpose for each other. He always makes me feel so much happier and better about myself. That is prob why i always melt around him, even when mad at him. There is something about him that is special to me and that tells me, him and i will always be friends.
He too reminded me of what i would have done had this happened 4 months ago, and told me that these hurtful things will keep happening for awhile. The hurt will get less and less painful, until one day i think to myself...He is very wise...for a 29 year old. haha
During his visit, i noticed for the first time...the affect that all my walking has had on my figure. I didn't really care if i got fat after quitting crack...like everyone supposedly does. My walks were for my mental health rather than physical health. I noticed today that my bod has filled out...but in a good way, not in a fat way...and i have muscles now! I am more toned that i can remember ever being. My body has actually improved and filled out but looks fit and toned rather than skinny and soft! This pleased me no end. I am going to have the mean bikini bod this summer.
On that note...i am off to enjoy my girls and do some gardening. The exercise took care of itself today.
Back later you lot. Thank you for helping make the most of a bad day. I love my friends. I love the ones that spend time listening to me and giving me good advice and making sure i am ok via the net...i love my friends that have come over to visit me and make me smile...you all know who you are. x
Happy daysssssssssssssss
I have my angels back here with me. I told them about stuff that has been going on in my little world over the last few days. "What a Jerk" is all the reaction i got...then Nicole let out the biggest burp that i have ever heard from such a dainty lady....yeah right, and Jorgia asked whether or not I had bought season 5 of Outrageous Fortune yet...Isn't childhood a wonderful thing? I would love to go back to being that carefree.
During my drive through Howick, i could not help but notice the inorganic rubbish that was all over the road. That brought about hilarious mental images of G, dressed to kill and in high heels, picking through the rubbish with her friend in broad daylight on Sunday afternoon...hahaha Apparently they scored heaps of stuff...i considered stopping for a look but the girls would not let me. I don't really need any more stuff for this place anyway. It's full to the brim of all the nice things that i used to be able to afford to purchase. Lucky i did it back then.
This morning i got spoiled by a close friend that is always always there for me and who's friendship means the world to me, with a visit and a big shoulder to cry on. Which i made good use of. He had asked me a question about how i felt about something ,and i when i answered him...i think he felt like ringing up the airline and booking my ticket out of here for me. haha
I will never leave NZ...not without my girls, not at least until they are older. If they make their home in NZ , they can at least travel to see me etc. One day hopefully, i will be back in Boise, Idaho with my sister Tracey and brother in law Tim...both who i adore, and are a continual source of strength for me...but right now i need to be here with my girls. They, and Billy, literally are my life.
How times have changed. Had i been upset like i have been over the past few days, 4 months ago...i would have avoided the world and reached for the pipe. Today, the first thing i thought about was getting my kids.
It was also lovely to see Dan. It had been a month. I have missed him lately. I successfully managed to use him well and good. I even gave him a free get out of jail card for the next time that i get angry at him haha. I needed him today. Just like i needed him when i was a crackhead. I guess we each serve a purpose for each other. He always makes me feel so much happier and better about myself. That is prob why i always melt around him, even when mad at him. There is something about him that is special to me and that tells me, him and i will always be friends.
He too reminded me of what i would have done had this happened 4 months ago, and told me that these hurtful things will keep happening for awhile. The hurt will get less and less painful, until one day i think to myself...He is very wise...for a 29 year old. haha
During his visit, i noticed for the first time...the affect that all my walking has had on my figure. I didn't really care if i got fat after quitting crack...like everyone supposedly does. My walks were for my mental health rather than physical health. I noticed today that my bod has filled out...but in a good way, not in a fat way...and i have muscles now! I am more toned that i can remember ever being. My body has actually improved and filled out but looks fit and toned rather than skinny and soft! This pleased me no end. I am going to have the mean bikini bod this summer.
On that note...i am off to enjoy my girls and do some gardening. The exercise took care of itself today.
Back later you lot. Thank you for helping make the most of a bad day. I love my friends. I love the ones that spend time listening to me and giving me good advice and making sure i am ok via the net...i love my friends that have come over to visit me and make me smile...you all know who you are. x
Happy daysssssssssssssss
October 19, 2009
The Joy of Weeding
This is my all time favourite thought from the Secret Squirrel. I thought i would let you all know that.
As you were.
As you were.
Someone remind me why i hate Oprah
This just made my day! It's fantastic! It made me feel like dancing. I have not danced since i last danced with Danny. Danny didn't like dancing much, but he always did it with me when i wanted to.
Maybe i should take some dance classes just for fun. I took classes as a kid and teenager...i miss dancing.
I LOVE IT!
Maybe i should take some dance classes just for fun. I took classes as a kid and teenager...i miss dancing.
I LOVE IT!
FBI Hats
superpoop.com
haha
What a beautiful day. I'm off to enjoy some of that beautiful, warm sunshine, before it disappears.
PS...I still can't believe that Pita Sharples and his gang meeting.
Gang meeting about reducing P impact - Yahoo!Xtra News
I don't have a problem with Pita Sharples sitting around a table with a bunch of scumbag, murdering, P manufacturing and dealing, gang members, discussing how their criminal behaviour destroys lives... If he wants to mix with those types...that is his choice.
I do have a problem with taxpayers footing the bill for their little gathering.
The only way tax money should be spent on these disgusting excuses for human beings, is in the form of free accommodation in the nearest prison, for the rest of their lives.
Imagine if Bill English flew Mark Bryers, and all his mates from Blue Chip down to Wellington. At the tax payer's expense. To sit around a table, and discuss how stealing the the life savings of retired people, that had worked hard, and saved their whole lives, while spending 10 k a night at brothels, is really naughty, and has a bad affect on NZ?
The whole country would be in an uproar, and Bill English would most likely no longer have a job.
Pita Sharples - you are an idiot. Just because they are MAORIS does not mean they are above the law, nor does it mean taxpayers should foot the bill for you to discuss their ongoing criminal activity with them.
I had a terrible sleep.
I am going to crawl back under my covers and sleep for a couple more hours.
Mind Body Soul | Expert Advice
Yahoo!Xtra Mind Body Soul Expert Advice
Every single thing that we do is driven psychologically by a basic desire to either gain pleasure, or avoid pain.
This is very useful to know if you're trying to change aspects of your life, because if you can change your thinking, then your doing will naturally change as well.
The quick facts:
• The motivation to avoid pain is usually stronger than the motivation to gain pleasure.
• Most people focus on avoiding pain and gaining pleasure in the short term, but to be successful you need to focus on avoiding pain and gaining pleasure long term.
• Everybody's perception of what causes pain and pleasure is different and linked to their own experiences.
To make changes in our lives we need to change how we think and how we act.
One simple way to do this is to change what you link your pain and pleasure to.
For greater success you also need to shift your focus from short term pain and pleasure, to long term pain and pleasure.
Here's an example:
If you're overweight you may be focusing on the short term pleasure that you link to eating too much, or eating unhealthy foods.
Or, you might be avoiding pain that you link with exercising.
Or, maybe you're avoiding the pain of dealing with a problem and instead seeking pleasure and comfort from food.
• You can motivate yourself to make the changes you need to by creating new long term links to pain and pleasure for yourself.
• You might choose to avoid the pain associated with long term health problems, or of looking fat and not being able to wear nice clothes.
• Also add in some long term pleasure associations, such as looking and feeling fantastic, and being able to play with your children.
• The key thing to remember is that the new links and associations must be personal and real for you.
• And, they need to be strong enough to over-ride your existing pleasure and pain associations of eating the cake and avoiding the gym!
Another common example is staying in a relationship that is no longer positive or satisfying. In the short term, you may gain pleasure from having a date to go out with and avoid the pain of being lonely.
But is it costing you the long term pleasure of having a fulfilling relationship, and the long term pain of realising you've wasted many years staying in an empty relationship?
And yes...i am having another night of broken sleep.
Every single thing that we do is driven psychologically by a basic desire to either gain pleasure, or avoid pain.
This is very useful to know if you're trying to change aspects of your life, because if you can change your thinking, then your doing will naturally change as well.
The quick facts:
• The motivation to avoid pain is usually stronger than the motivation to gain pleasure.
• Most people focus on avoiding pain and gaining pleasure in the short term, but to be successful you need to focus on avoiding pain and gaining pleasure long term.
• Everybody's perception of what causes pain and pleasure is different and linked to their own experiences.
To make changes in our lives we need to change how we think and how we act.
One simple way to do this is to change what you link your pain and pleasure to.
For greater success you also need to shift your focus from short term pain and pleasure, to long term pain and pleasure.
Here's an example:
If you're overweight you may be focusing on the short term pleasure that you link to eating too much, or eating unhealthy foods.
Or, you might be avoiding pain that you link with exercising.
Or, maybe you're avoiding the pain of dealing with a problem and instead seeking pleasure and comfort from food.
• You can motivate yourself to make the changes you need to by creating new long term links to pain and pleasure for yourself.
• You might choose to avoid the pain associated with long term health problems, or of looking fat and not being able to wear nice clothes.
• Also add in some long term pleasure associations, such as looking and feeling fantastic, and being able to play with your children.
• The key thing to remember is that the new links and associations must be personal and real for you.
• And, they need to be strong enough to over-ride your existing pleasure and pain associations of eating the cake and avoiding the gym!
Another common example is staying in a relationship that is no longer positive or satisfying. In the short term, you may gain pleasure from having a date to go out with and avoid the pain of being lonely.
But is it costing you the long term pleasure of having a fulfilling relationship, and the long term pain of realising you've wasted many years staying in an empty relationship?
And yes...i am having another night of broken sleep.
October 18, 2009
I'm totally cheering myself up...
giggling my ass off here...hahahaha
superpoop.com
superpoop.com
superpoop.com
superpoop.com
hahahahahhahahahahaha
Oh my Gosh, i have to get off this Superpoop website hahahahaha
superpoop.com
superpoop.com
superpoop.com
superpoop.com
superpoop.com
hahahahahhahahahahaha
Oh my Gosh, i have to get off this Superpoop website hahahahaha
superpoop.com
I did my gardening after all
Stage two now planted...along with rows of sunflowers. The neighbour lady came over to admire my garden, and was telling me how lucky we are to have good soil for it here. Apparently her sister lives just up the road and has clay. Stink buzz.
We got talking and i told her this is the first garden that i have ever planted so it is all a bit of a learning curve. I told her that my husband used to always do it. She told me that she has been divorced for 20 years and she is happier on her own than she would be if she was with him, and that it just takes time. She told me to keep myself busy doing things that i enjoy etc.
I am not sure if hearing how she has been alone for 20 years, and likes it made me feel better or worse. I told her about my depression and how it feels lonely right now. I told her that i love and miss my husband. I told her that the gardening and my walks, are my attempt at keeping busy and taking my mind off things...that i am hoping to get a job soon etc etc.
I don't really want to be old and alone in 20 years.
Never mind.
It's national Jackie listens to sad music day today...on my blog. ha
We got talking and i told her this is the first garden that i have ever planted so it is all a bit of a learning curve. I told her that my husband used to always do it. She told me that she has been divorced for 20 years and she is happier on her own than she would be if she was with him, and that it just takes time. She told me to keep myself busy doing things that i enjoy etc.
I am not sure if hearing how she has been alone for 20 years, and likes it made me feel better or worse. I told her about my depression and how it feels lonely right now. I told her that i love and miss my husband. I told her that the gardening and my walks, are my attempt at keeping busy and taking my mind off things...that i am hoping to get a job soon etc etc.
I don't really want to be old and alone in 20 years.
Never mind.
It's national Jackie listens to sad music day today...on my blog. ha
It is pretty yucky outside...
Rainy, off and on, and windy as hell. It's a gross, cold wind too. I am up and out of bed though, and even hung laundry out and popped to the petrol station for milk. All that by 1:00pm! I deserve a medal or some shit. ha
I am not going to go for my walk today. I can't be bothered. I am going to spend my afternoon working on my garden, then cleaning.
Tomorrow, it has been 100 days since I changed my life. 100 days since i did that drug. I was going to spoil myself somehow tomorrow, or buy myself a puppy, or do something to celebrate this little milestone, but i bought new tyres instead.
I'm broke till later in the week, and i wouldn't have it any other way. It's pissing down outside now...so much for gardening! I might have to go back to bed.
Back later.
I am not going to go for my walk today. I can't be bothered. I am going to spend my afternoon working on my garden, then cleaning.
Tomorrow, it has been 100 days since I changed my life. 100 days since i did that drug. I was going to spoil myself somehow tomorrow, or buy myself a puppy, or do something to celebrate this little milestone, but i bought new tyres instead.
I'm broke till later in the week, and i wouldn't have it any other way. It's pissing down outside now...so much for gardening! I might have to go back to bed.
Back later.
Shock over gang meeting - Yahoo!Xtra News
Shock over gang meeting - Yahoo!Xtra News
unf%ckingbelievable.
I could do the hugest rant right now...on why i can't believe that taxpayers had to foot this bill when these leaders have hundreds of thousands of dollars stashed away, in the form of proceeds from the people that they have gotten addicted to P.
But i won't.
I have better things to be doing with my day, than focus on scum.
unf%ckingbelievable.
I could do the hugest rant right now...on why i can't believe that taxpayers had to foot this bill when these leaders have hundreds of thousands of dollars stashed away, in the form of proceeds from the people that they have gotten addicted to P.
But i won't.
I have better things to be doing with my day, than focus on scum.
Last night's sleep was ok...
I think i woke like 3 times. At 11:45pm. 2:30am, and like 5:30am. I went straight back to sleep for the first two, and stayed up for like an hour at 5:30...i think. (If i remember correctly) So it was not too bad of a night. Not as bad as i had anticipated.
That does mean however, that out of the last 24 hours...i have slept like 18 of those hours. That is mental. Almost as mental, as the fact that i still feel tired. Why do i go through these phases? I wish i knew. Why can't i have just 8 hours of unbroken sleep, rather than 18 hours of being half asleep, tossing and turning and waking up every other hour?
That does mean however, that out of the last 24 hours...i have slept like 18 of those hours. That is mental. Almost as mental, as the fact that i still feel tired. Why do i go through these phases? I wish i knew. Why can't i have just 8 hours of unbroken sleep, rather than 18 hours of being half asleep, tossing and turning and waking up every other hour?
Mind Body Soul | Mind & Attitude
Yahoo!Xtra Mind Body Soul Mind & Attitude
Feeling low for no apparent reason? Scan the line-up of these unusual suspects.
Headspace can be a vexed place. One week you're so high on life you want to write a bestseller and blitz that 14-K run. The next, you can barely muster a grimace. The number of Kiwi women experiencing low moods is higher than ever - one in five will be diagnosed with depression in her lifetime, compared to one in eight men. Antidepressant prescriptions in New Zealand have also skyrocketed, more than doubling in the past five years. If job stress, money, health or relationship problems aren't beleaguering you, and you've ruled out a genetic cause, see whether any of the following strike a chord with you. You feel bloated, gassy and crampy: The suspect: Fructose malabsorption (FM) or undiagnosed digestive problems. (This can also be diagnosed as irritable bowel syndrome. FM is an inability to fully digest fructose, a naturally occurring sugar found in loads of fruits, some veges and honey.)
The evidence: What do digestive problems have to do with mood? (Apart from the distressing feeling that you need to give birth to a gas baby.) The fructose-intolerant may have a reduced capacity to produce serotonin, the mood-controlling chemical, according to a study of subjects with gastro problems by the University of Innsbruck in Austria. When the gut lining is inflamed (which can happen with digestive conditions), you're less able to absorb nutrients necessary for energy production, says Judy Davie, food and nutrition writer and co-author of Star Foods (amazon.com). "Unrecognised malabsorption through coeliac disease can also cause low energy and trigger depression," adds psychiatrist, Associate Professor Michael Baigent.
Feeling low for no apparent reason? Scan the line-up of these unusual suspects.
Headspace can be a vexed place. One week you're so high on life you want to write a bestseller and blitz that 14-K run. The next, you can barely muster a grimace. The number of Kiwi women experiencing low moods is higher than ever - one in five will be diagnosed with depression in her lifetime, compared to one in eight men. Antidepressant prescriptions in New Zealand have also skyrocketed, more than doubling in the past five years. If job stress, money, health or relationship problems aren't beleaguering you, and you've ruled out a genetic cause, see whether any of the following strike a chord with you. You feel bloated, gassy and crampy: The suspect: Fructose malabsorption (FM) or undiagnosed digestive problems. (This can also be diagnosed as irritable bowel syndrome. FM is an inability to fully digest fructose, a naturally occurring sugar found in loads of fruits, some veges and honey.)
The evidence: What do digestive problems have to do with mood? (Apart from the distressing feeling that you need to give birth to a gas baby.) The fructose-intolerant may have a reduced capacity to produce serotonin, the mood-controlling chemical, according to a study of subjects with gastro problems by the University of Innsbruck in Austria. When the gut lining is inflamed (which can happen with digestive conditions), you're less able to absorb nutrients necessary for energy production, says Judy Davie, food and nutrition writer and co-author of Star Foods (amazon.com). "Unrecognised malabsorption through coeliac disease can also cause low energy and trigger depression," adds psychiatrist, Associate Professor Michael Baigent.
October 17, 2009
I am a shocker
I did not wake up again til 3pm. No prizes for guessing who will be awake and frustrated all night tonight. I can't STAND this.
I missed getting to talk to Tracey on the yahoo messenger thing. I woke up and there were messages there from her telling me to WAKE UP. I miss her. I wish we lived near each other so that i would at least have someone to go out for a coffee with, shopping with etc...normal things that friends/sisters do.
Anyway, i jumped out of bed, and went for my walk straight away. It is really hot outside, despite the weather being windy and changeable. I'm glad that i forced myself to do that. At least my day was not a total waste.
I missed getting to talk to Tracey on the yahoo messenger thing. I woke up and there were messages there from her telling me to WAKE UP. I miss her. I wish we lived near each other so that i would at least have someone to go out for a coffee with, shopping with etc...normal things that friends/sisters do.
Anyway, i jumped out of bed, and went for my walk straight away. It is really hot outside, despite the weather being windy and changeable. I'm glad that i forced myself to do that. At least my day was not a total waste.
I give up
I honestly do. Maybe i am trying too hard. I had the crappiest of crappy sleeps over night. Maybe my pills are keeping me awake, or having an upper effect, rather than the drowsy effect, now that my system has gotten used to them .I will try taking today's pill now and see what happens.
I woke up like every hour overnight. I managed to sleep on my arm weird, so now it is sore. I did not learn, the first time that i woke up and my arm was killing me...i had to keep going back to sleep in that same position all night and now i feel like i have a broken arm or something.
I got out of bed, to make my coffee about an hour ago and saw that it is a beautiful sunny day. Right now, i don't care if i spend it in bed. I would rather get up and get out there in that sunshine, and spend my day doing something that makes me feel happy. As opposed to spending my day in and out of sleep in bed, and then not being able to sleep again tonight.
I am over this. I hate being awake at night, and i hate wasting beautiful days in bed. I'm going back to sleep for a couple of hours, and then i will make myself useful, doing something outside, with the rest of my day.
Hopefully, i am not quite such a grumpasouras when i wake up.
Good morning... :-<
I woke up like every hour overnight. I managed to sleep on my arm weird, so now it is sore. I did not learn, the first time that i woke up and my arm was killing me...i had to keep going back to sleep in that same position all night and now i feel like i have a broken arm or something.
I got out of bed, to make my coffee about an hour ago and saw that it is a beautiful sunny day. Right now, i don't care if i spend it in bed. I would rather get up and get out there in that sunshine, and spend my day doing something that makes me feel happy. As opposed to spending my day in and out of sleep in bed, and then not being able to sleep again tonight.
I am over this. I hate being awake at night, and i hate wasting beautiful days in bed. I'm going back to sleep for a couple of hours, and then i will make myself useful, doing something outside, with the rest of my day.
Hopefully, i am not quite such a grumpasouras when i wake up.
Good morning... :-<
Which Candles Emit Carcinogenics? | Healthy and Green Living
Which Candles Emit Carcinogenics? Healthy and Green Living
I am just in the middle of one of my nightly attempts to get back to unbroken sleep. This is attempt number 2...my first one was at 11:45. I was searching for a new doco and noticed that i had an email.
I get a daily email sent to me by this healthy website, telling me how to live a healthier life. I usually can't be bothered reading them, but today's subject caught my eye.
Is there anything on this earth that DOESN'T cause cancer?
Candles now? That's a new one. I had never heard this before...so thought i would share. If one less candle is lit then maybe i have saved a life hahaha
pphhhhttttt....how mental.
Back to sleep for me....zzzzzzzzzzz
I am just in the middle of one of my nightly attempts to get back to unbroken sleep. This is attempt number 2...my first one was at 11:45. I was searching for a new doco and noticed that i had an email.
I get a daily email sent to me by this healthy website, telling me how to live a healthier life. I usually can't be bothered reading them, but today's subject caught my eye.
Is there anything on this earth that DOESN'T cause cancer?
Candles now? That's a new one. I had never heard this before...so thought i would share. If one less candle is lit then maybe i have saved a life hahaha
pphhhhttttt....how mental.
Back to sleep for me....zzzzzzzzzzz
October 16, 2009
Photos of Piha...
Just to make my sister, Tracey, jealous. She has the dreamy husband...and i have....Piha.
hmmmmmmmmmm
Short stick anyone? haha
Moving right along.
I had forgotten how long and windy Scenic Drive is. By the time i got out there, the sun was going down and it was bloody windy and cold. So i will be honest and admit to other than my gardening, i did not exercise today. I am sure i will live to see another day.
I came back home, and didn't get back here til dark. I heated myself up some soup, ate that while i watched TV, and had a bath. Now, here i am back in my favourite place, in my nanna nightie, and about to put on a documentary, and fall asleep.
I have had better sleeps the last couple of nights. I am still waking up a couple (or three or four) times a night, but i am not getting up. I just put my doco back on and fall straight back to sleep. I don't know what i would do without my laptop and the Internet. I would feel so damn isolated.
My laptop is like my best friend. I did not realise, when i purchased it, how much i would come to rely on it. I bought it in late Feb...i remember for the first 3 weeks all i did was play with the appearance settings and type in all my phone numbers into the contacts thing. I did not even go on the Internet. I had not missed it. It's so addictive, i guess. At least i have used it in a positive way. My blog still continues to help me. I am reading a book at the moment about recovering from addictions. The first chapter is all about talking and telling your story and how people that are recovering from bad experiences need to do that.
Obviously, i felt an overwhelming need to do that. It was good to read in that book that my rants on my blog, are just a normal part of my recovery. It was like confirmation that i was not weird to want to continue to talk, all the time about the things that i have witnessed and been through. I don't have many people to talk to. My blog has helped save my life.
I know people read it. A lot of people read it every day. Even if no one read it though...i would still be here ranting to myself. It helps me a lot.
Anyway...I am going to put a doco on and crash. I did lots of digging, and clearing of dug up grass and weeds. I spread my smelly compost all over the garden where i am going to plant...i hung a boat load of laundry out. I drove to Piha and back. I got new tyres for my car. I listened to my ipod while lying on my back in the grass, with my eyes closed, and enjoyed the sun on my face.
I'm wiped. Exercise for me tomorrow OK.
Night x
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